Page 49 of Rival to the Billionaire

I grimace. "I'm not sure it's admirable. It's part of my mission to be better than the rest. To…have everyone tell me how proud I make them. But at the same time, I feel like I'm doing it to settle scores with—with people." I shake my head. "I have to admit that I'm also doing it to prove something to my mom. She's always wanted me to be better than her. To do better than her. To try to live a better life until one day I can make her proud."

His eyebrows lift. "That's some serious stuff."

"I know." I look away. "It's kind of unfair, you know?"

"Life isn't fair." Ryder nods. "I said that before. You never realized that you're not the only one out here trying to prove a point."

I don't say anything.

"What are you trying to prove?" he asks.

I hesitate. I don't know why I'm opening up like this to him. Maybe it's because I've never told anyone else this before. Probably because I don't have anyone else to tell.

"That's unfair of you to ask,” I whisper, sighing. “But since we’re being so honest, I’ll answer. I’m trying to prove that everything I've been through wasn't all in vain. I'm trying to prove that I'm tough. Not just tough, but polished. I'm trying to prove that all the people who didn't believe in me—that they were wrong."

Ryder studies me for a minute, his eyes warm and kind.

"It's just—I'm afraid sometimes, Ryder," I whisper, and furrow my brow. "I get so scared that the people I love won't love me and clap for me. That I won't be good enough to achieve my dreams and be a success. That I need to slay more demons before I'm worthy of being given the love and support that I really want and really need." My face scrunches. "And I just keep pushing myself to do more. To achieve more. To get it all. I want it all, damn it."

He nods sagely. "And what happens when you win all the awards, save the world? Do you find joy? Happiness? Do you find satisfaction? Peace?"

I frown. "I—I guess so. I'll—" A tension rises inside me, and I fold my arms over right away. "I don't know where my life will be."

Ryder's dark hair falls softly over his forehead. His strong, sapphire-blue eyes darken. "I'll tell you where it ends." His voice is filled with confidence. "It ends the day you're so busy being happy that you realize you've got absolutely nothing to prove to anyone. Perhaps, then, everything you're after takes on a different meaning. You lose that feeling of starvation. Of chasing. Of fighting for every little thing you wish to achieve. You realize that there's nothing left to do except be happy."

I look at him, breathless. A tingling feeling is running through my body, making me dizzy with excitement and apprehension.

This is the stuff they don't teach you in business school.

This is the stuff you don't discover from a mentor, from a successful entrepreneur.

I don't know this yet.

"Maybe it's the same old song," I start. He nods. "But these days I've just got to fight harder than ever. I've got to push myself. To prove that I'm the best. Because I want to leave my mark on this world."

He eases up on the couch and sits nearer me. He pats the seat beside him. I frown, hesitating.

Why is he doing this? And where is he finding the courage to sit this near to me? I can barely look at him.

Is this why he's here? To repair what I've broken?

Before I can think too much, he extends his hand. "Come. Sit by me."

I look at him, and then his hand, and my gaze locks on that.

"What's on your mind?" he asks suddenly.

"Your hand," I reply, looking up to his eyes. "You have a nice hand. And long fingers. Really long fingers."

I see him smile. "Thanks, Jen."

"They were always good for picking wildflowers in that field we used to run in every summer," I murmur. I hold my breath as we look at each other.

He leans in close. "That field used to be ours."

I swallow hard. "What happened to it?"

"They took it away. To build a park. The city didn't want people to ruin the natural green, so they made it a park, where everyone could go. People like us."

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