Page 98 of Rival to the Billionaire

He shakes his head.

"Not that I was surprised. You're a damn good Chief Information Officer, Jen. I knew you'd find your way back to the facts. It's just that you've been so consumed with hating Ryder that you couldn't see straight."

He smiles wider, shaking his head.

"You couldn't even see that your 'hating' him was just a coverup for how much you care about him." His golden-brown head of hair tilts. "And I know you love him."

"I do." I nod. "I know he loves me too, but…it's hard to see when you don't trust someone. It's hard to see when you think they're completely wrong for you. And I thought Ryder was wrong for me."

"If you'll forgive me, Jen, I think it's just that people in love tend to be dumb as hell."

I snort and he takes a seat in his plush chair, the lighting of the room gleaming off of his shiny shoes and his button-down shirt.

"It wasn't until I was forced to choose between my 'carefully crafted sense of control' and losing Mia—my assistant and the goddamned love of my life, that it all kind of came to a head…" Derek muses. "And made me realize that my control was an illusion. It didn't exist."

He shrugs and shakes his head at me. "I'm not saying that it's bad to want to control your life. I'm just saying that it's impossible to think you can control everything, including who you love. Those who try to do it end up frustrated and miserable." He shrugs again. "I'm still a control freak—I'd be lying if I said I wasn't one, but at least now I have a little more perspective on it."

"So…if you can't control it, you don't fight it?"

"Exactly. Which is why I trust you to make good choices when it comes to love. You're not going to make them all on your own, but that's okay. I trust you to do what's best for the company and for yourself." He smiles. "In many ways, Ryder did you a favor."

"How do you figure that?"

"You had a blind spot when it came to him, and now you can see that. It's good that you're starting to realize it. I'd hoped you would."

"You did?"

"Of course. Why else would I knock the two of you hardheads together?” Derek says, with a laugh. "I knew it wouldn't be pretty, and I was right about that. But I thought it would knock some sense into you both."

"Well…it worked. Just a little too late on my end, I guess," I say. "I've been so, so unfair to Ryder."

"Oh, I don't know about that. I'm more inclined to say that you've been unfair to yourself. You've been dealing with a lot of pressure lately."

"You mean my family?"

"Your family. All the responsibility you've shouldered. Not living life for yourself. It's bound to bring up some issues."

Suddenly I feel like a dam has broken and all my feelings have come rushing out. "I wanted to be a good daughter. I wanted to be a good sister. I wanted to be the perfect employee. I just didn't think I had time for anything else—like a relationship or even a date. Or…love."

"And now you do?" Derek asks.

"Yes. I do."

"Good girl. You've whipped my ass into shape enough. It's nice to see that I'm not the only ass that needed some whuppin'."

"I never would have thought…" I laugh, suddenly. "You're not just here to make my life miserable?"

"Nope…but I do miss being able to when you were my Chief of Staff," he says, sinking back into his chair.

I nod, feeling sheepish and exposed, but oddly happy. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet," Derek says. "You still have to come clean with Sabado and his lead developer, Ms. Tietz. You had them thinking everything about them coming on board at H&H was a done deal."

"I want to apologize for bringing you into this. You didn't deserve what I did, and I'm so sorry."

He shakes his head. "Think nothing of it. I don't need your apology, Jen. But I will take a favor."

"Anything. Name it."

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