Page 105 of Mortgage of Convenience

“Your grandfather was a very complicated man, and your father didn’t have a stable childhood.”

Cycles, continuing on and on forever.

“It doesn’t excuse what he did, of course not, but it’s something else you unfortunately have in common.”

“So… what? I’m doomed to repeat history?”

Mom frowns. “I didn’t say that.”

This is usually when I’d change the subject, because I’d rather break my leg again than argue with her. Knowing Dad is still capable of fucking things up after two decades only adds to my frustration.

“No matter what I do, it’s who I am that’s the problem, because it’s in my blood.”

“Sebastian Owen Wolfe, stop.”

Christ. She hasn’t used my full name in a decade.

“The one person I’ll never lie to is you, because I’d rather you judge me on the truth.”

“Why? You’ve already given him so many chances. Why another one?”

Her gaze is unwavering. “It wasn’t for him. I was never going to be able to leave it behind unless I said what I needed to say, whether he listened or not. And when he started to tell me about all the work he’d done already, I listened. I’m not asking for you to go on the same journey, honey. I at least have the benefit of good memories with your father to remind me of the man underneath all that anger. And I’m not here to make excuses. There was a lot he did wrong, but I can’t and won’t hold on to that pain for the rest of my life.” She curls her hand around mine. “And I don’t want you to, either. You’re building a beautiful life here, but you’re still looking back at the past. I say this from my own experience. Face it and move forward.”

The thought latches on like a ghost pepper even after she whispers to Bee and kisses me on the cheek. “Whatever you decide, you know I love you.”

All I can do is nod, because this is it. I do have to decide what I’ll do.

Bee slips her arms around my waist. I like having her there. I pull her closer.

“How did you find this place? Is it bad to say that I wasn’t expecting you to go for something so…”

“Well loved?”

We share a soft laugh. I love the sound of it.

The floorboards sigh under our feet. “My mom’s friend lived two streets away. Have you seen the blue A-frame with the birdbath in the front yard?”

Bee nods.

“We stayed for two weeks. Until Mom could sign a lease for our own place over in Wasley. It was hard. Neither of us slept well. I kept expecting him to bang on the door, drag us back. But I also remember the relief. We’d proven we didn’t have to keep living that way. Things could be different.”

“Life had possibility again.”

Exactly. That’s what this house represents to me. A future. Family.

“Besides, I like that she has some flaws.”

“Ah, because perfect doesn’t exist.”

“There are exceptions,” I say, taken by how the moonlight is holding her, highlighting the soft curve of her nose and jaw, the sleepiness in her smile.

“I’m glad you found her.”

Her hair is a mess, and her sweater is faded and misshapen because Aiden gave it to her years ago and she likes the way she can turtle her hands in the arms when it’s cold.

I’ve seen her dressed up, dressed down, naked, laughing, crying, and vomiting. In every single iteration, she is still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

I love her.

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