Page 116 of Only You

“Of course. When are you going to have dinner with us? Soon, I hope?”

“Mom,” I said, trying to head that line of questioning off at the pass. “Daniel will have dinner with us when the time is right. Don’t be pushy.”

“And by that you mean Friday?”

I groaned. “We’ll talk later. I love you.”

“Love you too. Drive safely. Use condoms.”

“Oh God,” I said, shutting the door a little harder than I needed to. “For fuck’s sake.”

Daniel took hold of my hand as we headed toward the Volvo again. “She doesn’t need to worry. We’ll always use condoms.”

I nodded, but some part of me wanted to argue. What if there came a day when we were sure enough of each other to go bare? What if we trusted each other enough to be together like that, raw and real, not at all like what Minty was doing and had done, but something so much more beautiful than that? What if Daniel and I could have everything one day? Did we dare to love like that?

I kissed Daniel’s hand before we separated to get into opposite sides of the car.

Only time would tell.

That night, at Daniel’s house, we slept spooned together. We’d been far too tired to talk or screw around by the time we’d gotten back. We’d made sure Milky Way had kibble and water and then settled down in Daniel’s bedroom together. I’d wondered if the echoing, empty house felt like a grave of memories around him, but I hadn’t asked.

I let Daniel hold me tight, breathing in his scent as he breathed in mine.

Before I drifted off, I remembered Minty’s angry voice.“You and Peter haven’t even fucked! Like you’re both some sweet little virgins instead of the horny gay men you are!”

We hadn’t done that particular act together yet. Ostensibly we were waiting on our tests, but we were planning to use a condom anyway. Sometimes I wasn’t sure what was holding Daniel back. It made me wonder if there was more going on.

I remembered how Adam had put it off for a long time, too, claiming he’d want it all the time once we started. And he had. But then I had too.

And, of course, once I’d thought of Adam, I couldn’t dismiss the agony I’d seen on his face earlier that evening, or the way he’d managed to fuck up my head without even trying. Sometimes I thought Adam was my biggest mistake. Other times I still felt a twinge of affection for him. But mostly he left me swamped with regrets.

The night had been far too full of emotion and stress, and while both of us were exhausted, I’m not sure either of us slept well.

At not even six o’clock in the morning, we were both startled awake by the sound of the doorbell. Jumping out of bed, pulling on sweats, and shaky from interrupted sleep, Daniel and I walked through the long, empty hallways, and down to the front door, hearts pounding and confusion mounting.

“Who do you think it is?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Daniel said. “But it can’t be good news.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

‡

“Iwas justso scared,” Minty told us, sipping his hot coffee, and gazing with wide, shocked eyes at our reflections in the dark kitchen windows.

He’d been bedraggled and sobbing on the doorstep before Daniel had pulled him inside and held him tight. The light of dawn had cracked on the horizon and slipped over the lake before he’d stopped crying enough to talk to us. We’d made coffee and listened, holding Minty’s hands. It was cathartic and necessary. It was hard as hell.

I checked the clock over the oven. Minty and I had missed our Psychology class. But what we’d gained was so much more than that. Each other.

“I’mstillscared. It’s real. It’s happening. I’m going to die. And it’s all the fault of one asshole and his fucking broken condom. Iknowit was him. It had to be.”

“You don’t know for sure,” Daniel soothed. “You’d never been tested before.”

“No, and I wish I hadn’t gotten tested now either.”

“You can’t mean that.”

“I do mean it! I only did it for my mother, not for me. I was going to give it to her as a birthday present. You know, ta-da! I’m negative! And now…” Minty’s face crumpled. “What am I supposed to tell her? Happy birthday, Mom, I got that test you wanted me to have and, guess what, I’m dying? Should I tell her that my father was right and—”

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