Page 121 of Only You

“A hotel.”

I laughed. “That’s…you’re going to take me to ahotel?”

“I want a clean slate for our first time. A place with no memories and no parents in another room.”

And no empty house reminding him of how many responsibilities were on his shoulders either, I supposed.

“What about Milky Way?”

“I’ll leave her with Kerri. She’ll take her if it’s just for a night.”

“Okay,” I agreed. “That sounds great.”

“And in the meantime, we can talk about what we want and how we want it.”

“I’m at school,” I whispered, as a girl walked up behind me, standing a few feet back, waiting for a turn at the phone.

“We can talk later then. Make a plan.”

“A plan?”

Daniel laughed. “A sex plan.”

I plucked at the front of my shirt, trying to cool off. I could blame it on the hot weather lingering into October, but it was all the excitement, nerves, and desire bouncing around inside me, revving me up, and making me sweat.

After we hung up, I started toward my photography class with my mind already crowded with potential positions that Daniel and I could try. The open-ended freedom of the kind of trust I had with him was mind-blowing. We were going to fuck—make love—both, and there was nothing to be ashamed of.

I almost started running, feet light, and heart even lighter.

Light enough to rise into the sky.

Chapter Twenty-Four


By the timeSaturday afternoon rolled around, I was so high on our days of sex planning that I hadn’t been able to concentrate at all during my work. I got sent up to the stacks multiple times looking for misplaced books, and I ended up wandering around for much longer than I should have. Not because I didn’t want to come back downstairs and do my job, but because I was so distracted that I kept getting lost.

April asked what was going on with me today, saying I was never like this, and I had to agree. But I couldn’t share what Daniel and I were planning. Everything about it felt private and important. Possibly because he’d made me wait all week to see him while teasing me on the phone with questions about what I liked and suggestions for things he was sure would drive me wild, and possibly because he’d planned something just for us thereforemakingit special with his intentions, and possibly because it justwas.

I knew it wasn’t true for everyone, but fucking or being fucked felt like the highest level of intimacy for me. It meant something serious and profound that I was going to do that with Daniel, and that he was going to let me do it to him, too.

As the day progressed and my workday drew to a close, I felt like a flip-flopping fish inside. Giddy like a kid who’d had too much candy. I couldn’t stop smiling, amazed at what was ahead, but more amazed at myself. Compared to where I’d been a year ago, or even two months ago, my relationship with Daniel had taken my life to a whole new level of wonderful. I felt dizzy, and I knew for sure that I was in love. I wanted to tell him.

Tonight.

I chose a new short-sleeve, button-up shirt that Daniel had complimented once over the summer, and new black jeans that I knew hugged my ass well. I took out my contacts to give them a good soak while I got ready.

From beneath the sink, I pulled out a box I’d bought during the week, removing the bulbous item and reading the instructions. They weren’t hard to follow, and for the first time, I douched in preparation for anal sex. Every other time, I’d just crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. But tonight, I wanted to be clean for Daniel.

Then I showered, cleaning everywhere I thought Daniel’s lips might touch. Afterward, I put my contacts back in, I ran a comb through my hair, trying to get some of the crazier parts to lie down, but it was useless.

Then I put together an overnight bag. My glasses, saline solution, a change of clothes.

“Peter!” my mom called.

After one last glance in the mirror, I slung my bag over my shoulder and took off down the stairs to greet Daniel.

He stood in the entryway with a bunch of wildflowers in one hand and my mom’s fingers clutched in the other. Seeing me coming down the staircase, his eyes lit up.