Page 72 of Only You

Daniel chuckled, but he sounded serious when he said, “You shouldn’t be.”

“So what does this mean then? We still see each other, but we just kiss and keep our clothes on, or…?”

Daniel’s silence was longer than I liked. I wasn’t sure if that was because I was going to hate what he had to say next or because he was making up the answers as he went. “I think we don’t meet up in person until she’s gone. We can talk on the phone, and make plans for a few weeks from now, but until she’s gone, let’s not see each other.”

“Are you…” I swallowed hard. “Are you saying we should break up, or are you—”

“No! Not that. Are you kidding me? I just got you, Peter. I’m not letting you go yet.”

I laughed, but it sounded strangled. “Then what?”

“We’re still seeing each other. Monogamously. But for a few weeks, we’ll just keep our physical distance. We’ll talk on the phone. Knowing that I’ll have the reward of being with you once she’s out of here will help keep me sane.”

But not seeing Daniel would drivemeinsane. Especially now that I knew how good being with him felt. “But being with me while she’s around could help keep you sane, too.”

“I know this is hard to understand. You’ve just seen her a few times. I don’t want her to taint us.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She ruins everything, Peter. If she knew how much I care about you, she’d try to ruin us, too.”

“How?”

“You’d be surprised.”

I felt like the rug was being pulled out from under me again. I trusted Daniel, but this was shaking my tender heart. “I’m okay with surprises if it means I can still see you.”

“Please, I’m still humiliated by what you saw yesterday.”

“Her behavior doesn’t say anything about you. It’s her problem.”

“I know. But I’m her son, and it’s mortifying to have the guy you care about come over to find your mother throwing dishes and freaking out.”

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want him to be embarrassed. The truth was, however, if it’d been my mom, I’d feel the same way.

Daniel went on, “I don’t trust many people in this world.”

“I understand.”

“And, whether it’s wise or not, I trust you more than most. But do I think you could see the full shit-show that is Marlene McPeak at her worst and not want to run away from me? I don’t know.Iwant to run, Peter. Anyone would want to run.”

I sat quietly, trying to sort through my emotions. Disappointment that I couldn’t see him again soon—tonight! immediately!—warred with concern for his well-being, respect for his clear boundary, and hurt that he thought his mother could ever drive a wedge between us.

“Please let me keep one thing safe from her,” Daniel whispered. “The most important thing. You.”

“Just a few weeks?”

“We’ll talk every night.”

“You’ll miss me?”

“I already do.”

“What if I need to see you?”

“If you really need me, of course I’m here. This is just for me, not for you. I’m being selfish. But if you need me, Peter, come to me. Right away. Or call me, and I’ll come to you.”

That satisfied me. Daniel wasn’t abandoning me. He was just trying to muscle through something he didn’t want me involved in. There were things I hadn’t wanted him involved in either, issues I’d had to deal with on my own—like getting Adam out of my life. I could understand not wanting the beautiful thing we were creating to get tainted with the worst thing in his life.

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