Page 89 of Only You

“I want itallwith you, Peter.”

“Mm,” I murmured. “Me too. I want all of you.”

Daniel rolled on top of me, buried his face in my neck and choked out, “I wanna fuck you bare and come inside you.” His hips thrust down against mine. “I wanna be that close to you. Joined together, skin-on-skin…” His stomach tightened, and he whimpered as he went hot all over. A fine sweat broke over his skin, sliding beneath my palms. “Oh God,fuck!”

He groaned, juddered, and convulsed with his orgasm. His cries were loud, and his intense pleasure left him shaking, whimpering, and panting next to me. His hot cum slicked between us, coating my dick and smearing all over our stomachs.

“Daniel,” I whimpered, still strung out. “I know we can’t have it, but I want that too.”

Daniel kissed my neck and rolled off me, taking hold of my cock. He went up on one elbow, still panting, pupils blown wide as he took me higher and higher, closer and closer to climax.

“Daniel!” I cried, knotting one hand in the sheets and clinging to him with the other. “Fuck!”

Andfuckbarely covered it.

I went taut as a bow. Images of what he’d said he wanted to do to me wrecked my mind. Me on my back with his bare cock in me, me stretched raw around his dick, me with his cum up my ass, leaking out onto my thighs. “Fuck!” I cried, as jizz shot over my belly and covered his fist.

I subsided against him, panting and breathless. When I opened my eyes, Daniel was staring at me with such intense adoration that my heart turned over in my chest. I kissed his chin, his jaw, and the hollow at the base of his throat.

“Are you all right?” His voice sounded raw.

“Amazing.” I slumped against him, shivering. He held me and kissed my hair. We stayed silent and trembling, the world outside our bubble of lust and new love had gone hazy.

Minutes ticked by as I basked in the afterglow. Daniel rolled up onto his elbow, peering down at me as he stroked my cheek with the backs of his fingers. “You know that wanting to do something doesn’t mean we can, right?”

“I know.”

Daniel nodded, his eyes drifting down to my lips.

The song started again. So did our kissing.

I knew that wanting didn’t mean having, but if I were going to do something like that, I couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone except Daniel. He was the only guy I trusted enough to even consider letting myself be that vulnerable with.

The sweet lyrics rose around us.

As we moved together again, I murmured in his ear, “Only you.”

Chapter Seventeen

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I’d traded theopening shift at the library for Graham’s afternoon shift, so the next afternoon, I drifted into work still high as hell from the night and morning I’d spent with Daniel.

As I went through the handover rituals with Juan and Ellie, I sipped the coffee I’d picked up on the drive in, and hummed under my breath, smiling when I realized it was the song we’d made love to last night.

Because that’s what we’d done. Made love.

We may not have fucked, but every other way we’d pleasured and pleased each other had felt profoundly intimate. I shivered remembering how Daniel had peered into my eyes, how he’d kissed me like I was someone he cherished, and then how he’d held me like he just couldn’t get enough.

And the things he’d said! About what he wanted with me!

We both knew we couldn’t do it. Not in today’s world. Not with AIDS. There was no way. But it was romantic, wasn’t it? For him to want that? And for us both to know we wouldn’t be able to have it, that our love couldn’t be expressed like that… I sighed. That part was hard. But just the way things had to be. Because otherwise our love could make us sick.

Unless we were loyal to each other. Unless we were true.

I shivered again, imagining it. Wecoulddo that. Daniel and I, we could be true. Honesty and truth were what we were building our relationship on, weren’t they?

I magnetized the spines of the returned books, thunking them against the magnetizer a little harder than necessary as I replayed memories at will: Daniel holding me by the bonfire. Daniel dancing with me, kissing my neck. Daniel telling me, “This song makes me happy,” when he meant “you make me happy.” He made me happy too.

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