Page 146 of My Skin Begs You Please

I imagined Kyle cutting out the darkness my father had left inside me. I yearned for that. I yearned to see the hate he had for me burning in his eyes as he took me apart, and as he tried to stitch me back up to do it all again. And maybe, at first, it would work. Maybe he’d get a week or so of torture out of me. Eventually, though, he’d strike the vein that would set me free. He’d kill me, and I’d be saved at last.

Dizzy, and with a pounding heart, I licked my lips and nodded. “Let’s go.”

His expression was pure evil delight.

We headed back up to the light, and then stepped quickly toward the doors leading down into the garage beneath. As he swung open the door to the stairway, I felt the pull of that golden rope that tied me to Luke. It tugged so hard that I fell back behind Kyle, gasping, a pain in my heart.

“C’mon,” Kyle said, turning to grab hold of my arm. “Don’t pussy out now.”

I shook my head, wrenched away, and let fly with Sensei Junior’s favorite hook kick. It landed solidly on Kyle’s hip, sending him tumbling down the stairs to the floor of the parking garage below. He stared up at me, shock on his face, and then rage.

I ran. And ran, and ran.

Away from him. Away from temptation.

Away from the worst part of myself.

Away from death.

Chapter Thirty

‡

Luke

“You can’t dothis!”

Betsy’s enraged screams rang in my head as I tossed and turned in my old childhood bedroom, trying to sleep away the guilt.

Mom and I had arrived at Riverwoods with suitcases and boxes, and when Mom broke the news, Betsy had gone ballistic. I’d never seen her so hurt and angry. I understood. None of this was fair. Not to her, not to Mom, not to me or Rodney. Not even to Dad, because it wasn’t his fault that he’d had a stroke which left him abusive and cruel.

But Riverwoods wasn’t going to let Betsy stay without being paid to take care of her, and neither was Dad’s new Senior Care Facility.

Oddly, it’d been easier to drop him off there yesterday than it’d been to pick Betsy up today. He’d been docile as a baby deer, letting the nurses lead him into his room, letting us set up his stuff. He hadn’t complained, hadn’t said nasty things, and when we left, he hadn’t cried or asked to come with us.

He’d seemed stunned, like a child, and for the first time since the early days after the stroke, my heart broke for him.

But Betsy? She’d yelled at us all the way home.

My stomach churned. Nothing about this was easy. I missedbeing in my own bed, and most of all, I missed Minty. I’d talked to him on the phone last night, but I hadn’t had time to call today, what with the drive to the Cumberland Plateau and back, and then trying to settle Betsy down.

Lightning struck outside. A downpour began.

I glanced at the clock. It was late. But maybe Minty was still up.

I picked up the phone extension I’d gotten installed in my room for my sixteenth birthday and dialed my own number first. I knew he’d been staying at his dorm more often, but I liked the idea that he could be asleep right now in my bed, waiting for me, safe and sound.

No answer.

I called his dorm and the machine picked up. I left a message, hoping he’d hear my voice and grab the receiver.

But he didn’t.

My stomach turned over. Where was he? Maybe he’d gone to his friend Daniel’s house? Hadn’t Daniel moved to a place that was closer to campus recently?

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, paced the room, and then pulled on my robe. In the hallway, I could see the glow of a nightlight coming from Betsy’s open door, and I could hear my mom in there, still humming the lullaby she used to sing to us as kids.

I went to stand in the doorway. Betsy was asleep, mouth open and her cheeks still flushed from all the tears. Mom held her hand and hummed, oblivious to me watching. My heart tugged.

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