“See? You’re already punishing me. That’s half the job of a Dom right there,” I teased.
He rolled his eyes. “So, seriously, what was it like?”
“Well, he was pretty dreamy,” I said, sighing and falling back to my stomach again, keeping my ass skyward. “I think I’m in love.”
Windy huffed a laugh.
“No, really. I think I am.”
“You say that about every guy you meet.”
It was true, I did, and everyone knew it. But Luke… What we’d done? What I’d felt? If I wasn’t HIV positive and careening toward death, I’d already be head over heels for him. Now, for just a few hours, I wanted to pretend to be that pre-diagnosis Minty again, let myself swoon with the possibility of a real romance, and entertain the idea that I loved him.
“Maybe I do say I love everyone,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “But this time is different.”
“They’re all different.”
I narrowed my eyes. “They don’t all make me come like a bomb went off in my balls and then hold me while I cry.”
Windy’s eyes twinkled. “Wait, I thought you didn’t want to be held anymore? I thought that wasbête romantique merde? I thoughtyou wanted to be hurt. Beaten up and spit on. Stuff like that.”
“I don’t want to be held if I’m crying from thepain,” I tried to explain. “I only want to be held if I’m crying because I’mupset.”
“He upset you?” Windy went from curious to protective in a heartbeat. It was sweet.
“No,” I denied, not wanting to explain what I’d been upset about. “I mean, yes.”
“How?”
“It wasn’thim. It’s being positive that upset me,” I said, blaming the most convenient thing. Windy had seen me cry about my diagnosis more than once already, and he’d held me through the first few days after I’d finally confessed the truth to him.
He came to sit next to me, putting his arm around my shoulder. “I’m glad he’s understanding about it.”
“He’s positive too,” I said, turning to hug him. “We fucked raw,” I admitted with a silly grin. “It was amazing.”
“You…he’s…” Windy’s dark eyes went hard.
“What’s wrong with that?” I shoved him back so there was distance between us. “We’re both positive. We can’t catch it twice.”
“You can catch other things,” he pointed out. “Like herpes, or syphilis, or—”
“I know, I know.” I rolled my eyes. Ofcourse, Windy was harshing my buzz. He’d taken over for Daniel after Peter and the demands of Daniel’s fucked-up life had stolen my usual lecturing best friend away from me. “But we both had clean STD tests.”
“Please. You’ve been letting that monster fuck you in the ass without a condom. He could have anything.”
“Luke isn’t a monster.”
“Not Luke. Kyle.”
“Oh, him.” For the last few hours, I’d forgotten Kyle existed. After leaving Luke’s house floating on clouds, I’d thought of almost nothing but Luke and his muscled arms, his comfortable chest, hisstrong hands, and his thick cock. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“You guess so?”
“Look, if Luke wants to take the risk of getting something from me, that’s his business.”
“He’s HIV positive too. If you gave him something, he could get really sick, really fast. It could be—”
“Stop!” I covered my ears and buried my head under my pillow. “You’re ruining it.”