Page 118 of Start With A Slap

Focusing on the passing scenery, Ivy let a heavy silence fill the car.Are we there yet?

“You’ve got to stop him, Ivy.”

He did not just ask her to double agent.

“If he gets too close to the truth?—”

“And what if he does? Shouldn’t heknowthat his mother is alive? That his father didn’t kill her?”

“You think that’s wise, do you? Want him to go in there and see her likethat, be propositioned by his own mother? It’s bad enough he—” He caught himself before going any further.

“It’s bad enough he what? Was molested by his stepmother? You can say it, Sever, I heard her loud and clear.” It occurred to her then why Jason had gotten off on her Sever-imposed Barbie doll look. Why he was so sure Melody didn’t do it... and what was implied when he said he had to listen to her complain ‘all night’. “Is that why you’re so cold with him?”

“No! I don’t blame him for that! I never did. I blameher.” He added quietly, “I blame myself.” He looked out the window. “He was achild. I don’t care how young or pretty she was, you don’t do that to a child.”

Sever displaying a strong sense of morality? That was new. “Is that what happened in Paris? ...Melody?”

“What? No.” Their eyes met. “Let it go, Ivy. There are things we’re all better off not knowing.”

“No one is better off believing a lie,” she said.

“Which one should tell him about us, then? You or me?”

She averted her gaze. That was not the point. Roxie was the point. “He’s her son. He could get her into rehab.”

“With what documentation? She’s dead.”

“I don’t know, there’s got to be a way?—”

“Her mind isgone,” he said, gesturing emphatically in Roxie’s direction. “That’s permanent damage. There is no getting her back.” He growled in frustration. “Just tell me how close he is!”

“No!” She held her hands over her ears. “I won’t do this, Sever! I won’t! I’m already wedged so far in the middle, don’t make me your fucking go-between!”

He pried her hands off her head. “I know what it’s like to have a sorry excuse for a mother. I can’t let him have one too!”

“God, why do you do this to me? Why do you show me these things? Why do you get me caught up in all your lies?”

“Because I’m in love with you! For god bloody’s sake, haven’t you figured that out by now?”

She stared at him, stunned.

Eyes earnest, he ran his grip up her arms and squeezed. “I’m in love with you, Ivy. You’re all I think about. You’re all I want in this world.”

Love? No.No. “You don’t love me. You love what I can do for you.”

He frowned at her.

“I’m not here to fix your failures, Sever,” she said, teeth grit. “I am not yoursecond chance.”

“My second...?” he breathed.

“I finally understand you now. You’ve been working out your rage on the dial-a-girls who look likeherall these years, but then you meetme, and you see opportunity. I’m the girl you think you can control and manipulate into the perfect little wifeyshenever was. You don’t love me. You just want a new and improvedRoxie.”

“You listen to me,” he said, angry. “If that’s what you think, you don’t understand me at all. All my life I’ve been fighting off my demons. All mylifeI’ve been transforming pain into power, drive — something I can use. When I couldn’t stop her..., whenshe turned a dalliance into a bloody snuff film and made me cross a line Ineverthought I’d cross, I knew I’d lost that fight. So, I gave in. I let the demons consume me and eat me alive and make me what I was the day you met me. But then,” he searched her face, “you...”

“No! Don’t you dare imply that I made you a better man,” Ivy said. “Not when all you’ve done is made meworse.”

He gasped, as if she’d hurt his feelings.

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