Page 92 of Start With A Slap

“Know what I like? When you don’t call me.” She covered her mouth to add, “Especially at work.” Jason was at a meeting, and she’d closed her door, but she still had to watch her volume.

“You left me no choice,” Sever pouted. “Didn’t answer your cell.”

“Because I don’t wanna talk to you!”

“No?” His voice dipped to a murmur. “Whatdoyou wanna do to me?”

Eyes closing, she said, “I wanna hang up on you.”

“Now, now,” he said with a chuckle, most likely with his hands behind his head and his feet up on his desk. “In a minute. First, tell me what you’re wearing.” Or maybe he was in his bed, naked. It was hard to say.

“Not your watch,” she said proudly.

“It’s your watch, love, not mine.”

“Actually, it’s neither. It now belongs to a very nice homeless man.”

He gasped melodramatically. “You didn’t.”

She didn’t. “And what if I did?”

“Well, I’d have to change my passcode...”

“Your passcode?”

“The inscription. I was gonna tell you about it... Oh well, too late now.”

“What inscription?” She fished the box out of her purse and saw a tiny set of numbers on the back. “What is this?”

“So youdolike it.” Not getting an answer, he said, “What do you think it is?”

“I’m gonna say coordinates of the Holy Grail, or the number of the Swiss bank account I’ll be taking the fall for. Or ooh, maybe both.”

“Not quite,” he said snidely. “Left side is the code for my gate. The other’s the security override for the main house, only it’s backwards. ...One of them is backwards — I have to look at it.”

She shut the box, and said with forced civility, “I’m gonna call you right back.”

When she made it up to the roof, where she could properly convey her indignation, she called him back.

“Hi.”

“You gave me akey to your place?”

“Yeah, guess I did. Seems a bit tacky to make you wait for clearance, yeah? Now you can drop in whenever you like.”

“Gosh, I don’t know what to say. This is such a big step forward in our non-relationship.”

“Is it too soon? I wasn’t sure.”

“Did you hear me?Non-relationship! Non, as in not having one!”

“Right,” he said, as if he understood. “I want to take you out Thursday night.”

“Oh my god!” She threw a hand up. “Listen to me, very carefully. We are notdating. I am yourdaughter-in-law. We cannot ‘go out’!”

“Fine. We’ll stay in then.”

“No! I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but Thursday is Jason’sbirthday. Therefore,Iwill be going out withhim. You can do anything you want, as long as it doesn’t involve me.”

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