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“That’s because no one here can afford it. I’ve been putting in extra hours, which is why you haven’t seen much of me,” Noah explains.

He lets me go to hold my hand and now stands beside me. The last time I enjoyed a birthday dinner that was somewhat fancy was when my parents lived. They always saved up for birthdays. I, on the other hand, could do with fewer celebrations. Jas and Jule understood.There were other more important expenses, and we were disciplined enough to not break our budget.

Jule had been risking his ass by hauling water from the river, and that was forbidden. I cautioned him to only take amounts he could carry alone and not force himself to bring larger loads.

I’m a penny counter. Precisely why I forbade Jasmin from buying me such an expensive camera, but she,of course,does what she wants.

“I suggest we wear our best clothes.”

Both Jasmin and Jule brighten and begin to gather our things. They’re out the door before I can retract the charger from the power outlet. I leave the camera on the counter to put my sweater back on and don’t notice Noah flipping through the images.

“Why’d you snap a photo of a cop?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” I tug the sweater over my face and shrug. “I actually used it to zoom in. I found it strange to see cops respond to a call, and I was curious.”

Noah nods and sets the camera back down. His expression is serious. “He’s new–Detective Dylan Montreal. Transferred about a month ago.”

I’m not surprised Noah knows who the rookie is–he’s been arrested various times for petty law-breaking habits, fighting with the men who abuse the sex workers’ time, and disgruntled arguments with loan sharks.

A somber guilt I’ve never felt before travels up my starving gut and squeezes my chest to where it becomes difficult and even painful to breathe. Noah isn’t only my boyfriend, but my best friend. He knows me so well, and I can’t help feeling he understandsexactlywhy I took the photo–because I fancy the handsome rookie enough to have his image among my stash.

Noah deserves better than my half-assed attempts to be his girlfriend, so I reach for the camera and erase the image. I barely even allow myself to stare at it again.

“It isn’t important.” I raise the camera and quickly snap a photo of Noah smiling at me.

He blinks away the blinding flash and I giggle, then tuck the Pentax into my bag. I rush to him, wrap my arms around his neck to bring him lower, and kiss him in a way I never have before.

4

Justice

The young host at the fancy restaurant hesitates upon our entrance. Noah is, after all, infamous, and I… the reporter who constantly attempts to put thugs and corrupt shit on the map. I expose the information everyone prefers to keep hidden, yet just as desperately, they seek it out due to fear of not knowing what is happening in their own town.

I recognize the boy, he’s Jule’s age. His family lives four trailers away from us. I know his family struggles; his mom is the sweetest. She often invites us over for dinner. I send a silent thank you to my parents. If they hadn’t paid off the trailer and property in advance, my siblings and I would have been forced onto the streets.

After Noah explains why we’re here, the kid finds us a booth in the farthest and darkest corner of the restaurant. The waitress mumbles the specials and takes our orders quickly, barely looking at us.

“I guess our nice clothes aren’t as nice as we thought,” Jas says while looking at her deep blue, knee-length, silky dress.

As usual, she wears her dark, tight curls down. Tonight, she’s combed it all to one side, exposing a long silvery earring. Her chocolate complexion glows, and she looks so elegant but simple compared to the outrageous outfits on some of the women here.

My brother shifts uncomfortably and he stares down at the suit he wears. It belonged to my father, but Jule is already taller and beefier than he was.

Jule wiggles the tie up and down while pretending to not be able to breathe in it. “I don’t understand why I couldn’t wear a T-shirt with a jacket. I look like an idiot.”

Noah laughs. “We all look great. Especially you, Justice.” He winks at me and nestles me close before kissing my temple.

Jule rolls his eyes while he tugs at the wrist of the jacket. Jasmin gives us a weak smile and shifts in her seat. I know she’s comfortable in her dress. Jasmin is one of the girliest girls I know. I suspect being here with Noah is what’s making her uncomfortable.

I, on the other hand, feel noticeably uncomfortable in the tight, black, strapless dress. My mother’s tube-like dress reaches just below my knees and it hugs my curves, leaving nothing to the imagination. My dark hair is pulled back in a side braid and then into a low bun close to my left ear. My mother’s silver charm bracelet rolls up my wrist, tugging on the tiny arm hair, and I smile. Every time it does that, I pretend it’s my mother pinching sense into me. She was wearing the bracelet the day she was killed. I put it on that night and never took it off.

I close my eyes and turn to breathe in Noah’s scent. Underneath his black, military-style jacket, he’s wearing a light blue, buttoned down, cotton blouse. He has his best black trousers and combat boots. I smile at the sound of his deep voice carrying on a conversation with my brother, evidently trying to ease him.

“Just take off the tie and unbutton the shirt. It’s a modern thing.” He signals discreetly to a few young men nearby, all tieless.

“Now you tell me?” Jule undoes the tie and tosses it to Jasmin, who folds it neatly into her clutch. He opens the first three buttons on his shirt and gives out an exaggerated sigh.

We stay silent when the quiet server comes back with our meal. Steam rises off our plates and we control the urge to not devour the food like starving animals. Noah pulls his arm away, and I frown when my body relaxes once his arms leave me, the suffocation replaced by a warm ease.

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