I smiled at him. “I would kiss you, but I feel really gross. I won’t be long!” I promised, suddenly feeling more energetic than I had when I walked in the door.
After washing my hair three times and scrubbing every inch of skin twice, I finally felt clean again. I hadn’t realized how high my anxiety had gotten, until it came down after the shower. I didn’t want layers of fabric all over my skin, and threw on a long t-shirt sleeper. It was a soft jersey material that reached my knees that Andie bought for me at some point. When I joined Kai in the kitchen he was standing by with a glass of milk and my evening medications. “What’s this?” I asked slightly confused.
“It’s one of your anxiety pills and a pain killer. I know you freak out about smoke and soot on you, so I figured you would need it. The other is so you don’t cry when I work on your muscles later,” he explained.
“I don’t freak out about soo-” I started before he gave me a look.
“You don’t need to hide that shit from me, Kat. I pay attention. It’s okay if you’re not okay. Just don’t pretend it is with me, when it obviously is not.”
I sat down at the table feeling like I had just been chided. “When have I ever-”
Kai halted my next words with a single look. “Labor day weekend. Tried to take you camping, and you were a mess the whole time. I honestly thought it was the company, but Andie and Jonas told me they noticed things before as well,” he explained.
“You compared notes with Andie and Jonas…” I trailed off, looking for the right words.
“Sure did,” he replied, pulling the lasagna out of the oven.
Wait. What? My boyfriend was discussing my mental health with my friends? “What the fuck, Kai!” I growled. “You can’t talk about me like I’m a fucking child. I am not okay with you, whom I sleep with, discussing my mental health with fucking outsiders!” I shouted.
Kai sat the lasagna down on the stove and looked genuinely shocked that I was pissed about this. I was yelling at him, and nearly shaking. I was so angry.
He took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to choose his words carefully. “Two months ago, we had just decided to move in together. There were a lot of things I didn’t know, but learned by going through the motions without a guide. I had no idea what a trigger was; let alone that I needed to look out for them.
“Andie chewed my ass out, because, according to her, I was going out of my way to keep you riled up the whole fucking weekend. She and Jonas cornered me while you were swimming with the kids, and tore into me. I would never ‘discuss’ your shit with anyone without your say so,” he explained.
My eyes felt like they were burning. I remembered the first two days of that trip being so stressful, before everything calmed down on the last day. “You didn’t tell them about stuff I told you, right?” I whimpered, feeling like my soul was bared before this man.
Kai came across the room in three steps and pulled me into his chest. “I would never do anything to betray your trust in me. I swear. Besides, they already know how you snore and fart in your sleep- Ugh!”
I punched him in the stomach. “I do not!” I said, crying like a baby.
“Ok, ok. You don’t fart in your sleep,” he chuckled at me. “Come on, let’s eat dinner. Then I can help you de-stress. You’re off the next two days right?”
“Yes,” I grunted petulantly, causing him to chuckle again.
“Do you need another minute?” He asked when I didn’t release him from the hug.
“Maybe.”
By the time we finished eating I felt like I could sleep for the next two days. I did make the effort to clean up the dishes though, since Kai made dinner. Kai sat up on the sofa, and I sat on the floor between his legs so that he could massage my shoulders while we watched tv.
“Ughh. that. That. Right there,” I moaned as his fingers found and worked a knot in my tight muscles.
Kai chuckled and kept working. “Now tell me about your day,” he coaxed.
“Well, I am making doors for the servant’s rooms in the basement. I glued a couple of boards together and I am going to fit the nicer wood around the outside, but it’s a pain in the ass. Every piece slides together like a puzzle, so if the measurements are off, even a little, it’s shit. OOOOH, that feels good, Kai,” I trailed off at the end as he started into the front of my shoulders.
“I thought you were working on a mantel?” he questioned.
“Oh yeah. Paul asked me to look at a mantel in one of the upstairs rooms. It had beautiful flower patterning carved in the face, but a chunk looked like it was dug out. The mantel isn’t original to the house, but the owners love it. Paul wanted to know if I could repair it or replace the whole piece. It’s a lot of work, like two straight weeks to hand carve all of that detail in a new piece,” I explained.
“So what are you going to do?” he asked
“I think I want to try recreating it. Anyway, I was stripping the layers of paint off to reveal some of the detailing. Paul stepped out to grab the project manager so we could talk materials… That’s when the soot came flooding down the chimney. I looked a sight when they came in. He started shouting, and the foreman came running in. The project lead was swearing something. The chimney guys were freaking out, because they were told the room was clear… Within twenty minutes the whole site was shut down.
“The homeowners were called in, ’cause it was a safety violation. Then the big office who has the contract for the project was called in. I didn’t even have time to be upset, because so many people were upset for me. The little fucktards that have been messing with my shit were fired on the spot,” I continued.
Kai stopped massaging and pulled my face back to look at him. “Seriously? They fired them?” He asked, looking shocked.