Page 28 of Perfect Chemistry

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what any of this new information meant for us. We needed to talk but this wasn’t the place. “We need to go, come on.”

She took my outstretched hand, but for the first time it didn’t fill me with energy. I was overtaken by an overwhelming sense of dread. Would she choose to chase me? Would she be faithful to me, so far away from everything here? Was I supposed to just sit around and wait while she went off and did her military thing and left me behind? We didn’t talk about any of it that night. Katie was off with her family preparing for graduation, and I was home looking at my college acceptance letter for the huge university two towns over.

It wasn’t a full ride, but it was damn close. I couldn’t afford to follow Katie if it meant passing up this scholarship. I needed to talk to her, but I had no idea how to do it. Would she see it from my perspective? Would she be willing to give up the military for now so that we could start our lives together?

* * *

Katie’s POV

Graduation day finally arrived and I didn’t know if I was happy or scared. Things had been off between Kai and I, and I didn’t know how to fix it. I tried talking to him about it, but he always found some way to change the subject.

My date was set for two weeks from now. Matt had convinced them to let him report later so that he could get married. I was happy that he and Christine talked through their shit, but it left me in the lurch. It wasn’t like I hadn’t told Kai, I had. Repeatedly. I told him that I decided to be a Marine after High School. How was it my fault that he understood that as ‘someday’?

As we filled the football field seating in our caps and gowns, I felt absolutely alone in the sea of red and black. My friend had managed to contract mono and wouldn’t walk for graduation, and my boyfriend would barely talk to me. I tried to get Bradley to talk with me but he seemed reluctant to get in the middle. I didn’t blame him. I just wanted some insight.

I walked across the stage and smiled when I accepted my diploma, and then shook hands with each of the senior class faculty.

“Oooh-Rah, Preston!” Mr. Henry, our World History teacher, barked at me.

The other teachers jumped, startled by the outburst, but it managed to put me at ease. “Ooooh-Rah, Sir!” I responded just as emphatically.

“You won’t regret it. I promise. Get out of here and see the world before you settle for one of these idiots,” he patted me on the back and pushed me to the next teacher in the line.

Finally, the last name was called and two-hundred seventy-five graduates cheered and threw their caps in the air. I held onto my cap, at my mother’s request, and just waved it in the air. I followed the crowd off the field and filtered through the crowds of smiling families to meet with my parents and sisters. I was done. This was my last day.

I called Kai that night, but he didn’t answer, not that I expected him to. I knew that he would be at his grandparents’ house celebrating his graduation and scholarship with the university in Southend. It wasn’t an Ivy League college, but they had a ton of who’s who as alumni. Their sports programs were among the top in the nation, and it was exactly what Kai had wanted since we were freshmen. Getting into that school was all he wanted.

I was happy for him. Genuinely happy. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t be happy for me too. I was really excited to be a Marine. They had opened up so many jobs for women in all of the services, and I wanted to try. Maybe I wouldn’t make it, but then again, a lot of the guys wouldn’t make it either. Didn’t matter to anyone here except my history teacher, but it meant everything to me.

When the call went to voicemail, I was going to hang up but decided to just put it all out there. “Hey, it’s Kat. I know you are busy with family, but I wanted to tell you that I was thinking of you. I know things have been weird. We need to talk, Kai. We promised no more secrets or not being honest with each other. I have done that. I have been an open book with you. Please. Just talk to me. I lo- I really want this to work out. Bye.”

I hung up and stared at my phone. Just then it pinged with a message from Andie telling me to come over and visit with her. She wasn’t contagious and her fever had gone down enough that she was allowed visitors. I threw my phone on my bed and changed into my pajamas. I decided to spend the day with Andie tomorrow. Tonight, I just wanted to be alone.

I shut my phone off and crawled under my blankets. Gunnery Sergeant Thompson said that I could back out at any time if before I reported. I didn’t want to back out. I was getting a chance to do something for me, and I wasn’t giving that up. Just like I would never ask Kai to give up the school program of his dreams, he couldn’t ask me to give up this dream.

It was a few days later before I got a message from Kai. His grandparents had surprised him with a trip for graduation. He needed time to think. He would call me when he got back. It made me feel a little better that he was willing to talk.

Chapter 10

[Kai. Please answer me]

[You said you needed time to think. You haven’t answered my calls or messages in nearly two weeks.]

[Is this how it is? You’re ghosting me?]

[I gave you all of my firsts, Kai.]

[My love. My kiss. My virginity. My heart.]

[You took all of my firsts. My first broken heart is yours too]

[Did you ever care?]

[Did you mean anything you said?]

[I am leaving today. I won’t come back for you.]

[You did this. You broke everything because you’re selfish.]

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