Page 58 of Perfect Chemistry

*Boom* again, seven rifles fired in synchrony.

“READY……….AIM………FIRE!”

*Boom*

“Present, ARMS!”

brrrr-brr-brrrrrr

The sound of Taps played, the somber whine of the bugle echoing across the cemetery where Tyson was laid to rest. I sat awkwardly at the grave, never taking my eyes away from the casket that was slowly lowered into the ground. I didn’t even register the man who presented the folded flag to me.

Ty’s parents hated me. His mom couldn’t stand to be in the same room as me. His dad declined any thought of hosting anything at their home, and closed the car door in my face when the funeral was over.

Tyson died three weeks ago today, and was buried in the middle of the country in the same cemetery as his grandparents. I couldn’t even visit his grave when I missed him.

“Katie? Come out and eat,” my sister called through the bathroom door of my apartment.

“I’m fine,” I said from my position in the bathtub. I sat there with my head leaned back, recalling the times Ty and I sat right here and planned our futures together.

“Katie, do you want to come home,” she asked.

“I am home.”

“Katie, you need to get help. You need to grieve.”

I snorted and began coming out of the tub. I needed to grieve? Had I not cried enough for them? Was my grief not harsh enough?

I ripped the door open and stared at my sister and Andie. “Get the fuck out of my house,” I told them and slammed the door shut again.

I stopped listening to whatever the fuck they wanted to say, and opened the bottle of rum sitting next to the tub. I held the bottle up to the air, “To Tyson Johnson, the liar who broke his promises and left me anyway.”

I took a huge drink from the bottle, too numb to feel the burn as it went down.

My phone buzzed on the floor beside me, but I ignored it. I didn’t deserve their worry. I deserved to suffer. His parents were right to despise me. I lost every piece of their son I had to protect.

Andie: [Katie, call me.]

Mom: [Katie, are you okay?]

UNK: [I’m so sorry for your loss.]

CAO Marie: [Katie, I will see you at 9am for your appointment with social security ~MSG G.]

Andie: [Katiedid, if you don’t answer me I am breaking into your apartment with the police!]

[Katie….]

[Katie…]

* * *

The pain in my stomach was insufferable. I hadn’t felt pain like this since… Since I was gutted in the desert. Tyson’s parents were seated across the table as our casualty assistance officers finalized the funeral arrangements with us.

I felt myself break out in a sweat, and I must have grunted louder than I realized. Suddenly, everyone was staring at me.

“Gunny? Are you ok?” Maria whispered to me.

“I think I need some air,” I whimpered as another wave of pain ripped through my body.

---