Page 96 of Perfect Chemistry

“I take it I kept you awake with my nightmares?” I asked, watching his eyes. He wanted to lie. He wanted to pretend that it wasn’t me, but this wouldn’t work if he lied.

“I just wasn’t expecting it. That’s all,” Kai tried to tell me, but I knew there was more. He didn’t want to talk about it just yet, but we would talk about it eventually.

I spent the next couple of nights at Andie’s house. Kai had been weird since the other night, and it made me feel like I had done something wrong. I didn’t know what I had done wrong, but it was a huge block between us.

I helped Andie clean up after dinner, and disappeared into their guest room. I had been back for over a month, and it was time to start looking for a job. I sat on the bed with my laptop and searched for carpentry and woodworking jobs in the area.

I heard a soft knock at the door. “It’s open, Andie,” I said, still reading through the various postings.

“If it’s not Andie?” Kai’s voice startled me, as he closed the door behind him.

I set my laptop aside and stood up from the bed confused as to why he was here. “What are you doing here?” I asked, looking back at the door he had closed.

“I needed to talk with you, and you have been dodgy the last two days,” he said, moving to stand right in front of me. “Can we talk?”

I was a little caught off by the impromptu visit, but I nodded. “Um, yeah? Yes,” I agreed, gesturing toward the bed. “I was just looking for a job. There’s not really a lot of space to-” my words cut off when Kai stripped down to his boxers, and climbed into my bed.

He looked over at me, holding the blankets open. “Come on then.”

This was not what I was expecting. “Does Andie know you are here?” I asked, laying down next to him.

Kai nodded and pulled me in a bit closer. “She does.”

“What are you doing here?” I asked him quietly.

He let out a stuttering breath and then began to talk. “You had a nightmare the other night. I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t that.”

I stilled, waiting for the rejection that was inevitable.

“You called out for Tyson in your sleep,” he whispered.

I never remembered my nightmares. “I-”

“Shhh. Let me finish,” he asked, rubbing my back. “When you called his name, I left the bed. I left the room. I was so fucking angry…. No. I was hurt. It felt like I was being cheated on,” he admitted.

“Kai, it’s not like that!” I whispered, feeling my eyes burn.

“I know. That was all me. I realized I was being stupid and ran right back to bed and held you the rest of the night. I was so ashamed of myself, Katie… Of how I handled it, I didn’t know how to talk to you about it.”

“I can’t change what happened before we came back into each other’s lives, Kai.” I bit my lip, trying not to cry as he continued talking.

“Katie, you have been up front with me from the beginning. You have never withheld anything. I’m trying to say, I’m sorry,” he whispered against my hair. “I am sorry that my first reaction was to pull away.”

I had no idea. “I didn’t even know. I wouldn’t know if you hadn’t told me,” I offered.

Kai tipped my chin up so that I was looking into his beautiful blue eyes. “But I knew. And I don’t want us to have secrets or misunderstandings. Will you forgive me for flinching, even if you didn’t see it?”

I rolled away from him, sighing. “Why are you being such a good guy? Can’t you have one bad quality?” I grumbled, wiggling my backside into his arms so that his chest and legs cradled me against his body.

He nibbled and kissed my shoulder. “I have my own flaws. I’m working on them for you, Kitkat,” he whispered.

I snorted. “I have an army of demons, Kai. I don’t blame you for hesitating. We aren’t so deep that we can’t walk away right now,” I said, giving him an out even though it would kill me.

We had only been back together a couple of weeks. It would hurt to walk away from him, if I were honest. I liked him more than I was willing to admit out loud. But it was better to make a clean break now, than drag shit out until later.

Kai pulled me back so that his upper body hovered over mine, our legs entangled. “I said I flinched. I didn’t say I was backing down. Don’t think I won’t chase your ass across the globe this time,” he swore staring intently into my eyes.

“Don’t break my heart. Ok?” I whispered back, softly pecking his lips and turning my back to him again.

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