Page 36 of Treasured

Mother tore her apart in a fit of fury, having “accidentally” lost control and fallen into a pit of rage. Numbness coated me from the inside out. Athena was dead. I was alone.

And now, I would never know what true love felt like.

* * *

A hand jiggled my shoulder, pulling me out of sleep. “Sebastian, wake up.”

Blinking blearily, I groaned and shook my head, trying to clear the vestiges of sleep. Luna appeared in my field of vision, her lips pursed, and her concerned gaze swept over me.

“Thank the gods.” She exhaled. “You were screaming and crying out in your sleep.”

Was I? I didn’t remember. A thick numbness coated my insides, like sludge stuck to my bones. It was a familiar feeling. I’d felt this way for decades after Athena’s death.

“I had a bad dream,” I admitted. “What time is it?”

She glanced at the clock. “It’s still the middle of the day.”

Damn. Luna needed more rest than that. I hated that my nightmare woke her and brought her out of sleep. I was supposed to take care of her, not the other way around.

Instead, the past was ruling me tonight. It had been years since I last thought of the night Queen Marguerite killed Athena. What was it about Luna that dragged up these pieces of my past, leaving me vulnerable and forcing me to relive them all over again? I would have preferred to leave the past where it belonged—far away from me.

Luna gently brushed my cheek, the softness in her touch grounding me in reality. “I thought as much.”

She kissed me. It was barely more than a peck, but it was enough to remind me that although Athena was my past, Luna was the entirety of my life now. My present and my future. “Do you want to talk about it?”

My eyes widened, and I shook my head. “No, I really don’t.”

Talking about Athena and reliving the past never brought anything good.

Unfortunately, Luna did not look convinced. She took hold of my wrist and ran her fingers over my Binding Mark. She traced the black lines tying us together, her eyes never leaving the magic tattooed on my wrist. “Are you sure, Sebastian? It’s not healthy to keep these emotions bottled up.” She sucked in a breath. “I know I sometimes tend to live in my head—”

“Sometimes?” I teased her.

“Almost all the time,” she amended. “But I’m here to talk. Maybe it would help?”

Healthy or not, repressing all my memories of Athena—gathering them in a box and shoving them deep in my soul—had kept me going for the past two hundred years.

Up until tonight, I was doing just fine without talking about it. If I talked about Athena, I might realize how broken I was. How scarred my soul was. If that happened, I might not be able to protect Luna.

And that was the most important thing.

“I’m fine, darling. It was just a nightmare. Please, let it go.”

Hoping to distract her, I drew her close, kissing her. For a moment, I thought she might argue or pull away, but she didn’t. She let my lips sweep over hers. She opened her mouth, and I tasted her as she melted against me.

I knew Luna wouldn’t forget about this, that we’d have to return to this conversation later, but maybe I would be better prepared the next time. Hopefully, the conversation wouldn’t occur until after we broke my Maker’s bond and woke Marius. Perhaps if I were fortunate, we wouldn’t even have to talk about it before we returned to Castle Sanguis.

We had too much to do without adding the weight of the past to our plates.

After a few more minutes of sleepy kisses and cuddles, I convinced Luna to go back to sleep. As a much younger vampire, she needed far more rest than me. Even after she slumbered quietly in my arms, I held her close. I would not return to the land of dreams. Not today.

Instead, I ran my fingers through Luna’s hair, trying to shake off the lingering memories of Athena’s death. The shadows were quiet, their song a distant hum as I slowly and methodically shoved thoughts of the past away. I shoved them down, burying them under years of pain and deaths I caused. Locking them away, I forced myself to focus on the present.

Hours slipped by as I lost myself in the gentle rhythm of Luna’s steady, slow breaths. This was my entire reason for living. The reason I was here. Every thought and decision I made was all because of her.

Once, I had believed I was incapable of love, that the darkness inside me meant I would never find someone who could care for me that way. When Athena died, and the numbness took over, I was certain I would never know how it felt.

But now?

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