Page 73 of Ivy & Bone

Cyrus deflated and sank into the chair opposite her. The food smelled delicious, but he had no appetite. Even so, she was right; tomorrow, they would find the gate, and they both needed as much strength as possible. With a sigh, he loaded meat and potatoes onto his plate and took a few bites. The food tasted like ash in his mouth, but he knew it would help strengthen his body.

He couldn’t shake the betrayed look on Prue’s face from his mind. She’d thought he was toying with her. Again.

And why shouldn’t she? He’d never been earnest with her. Sure, he couldn’t lie to her, but that didn’t mean he’d opened up or revealed anything sincere with her. He’d never given her a reason to take him seriously.

Cyrus set down his fork and said softly, “I met a witch.”

Prue stilled, frozen mid-chew. After a moment, she swallowed and asked, “Here?”

Cyrus nodded. “Her name was Jade. I was under the impression she had summoned me to help banish a wayward spirit in the village. But it turned out, she escaped from Tartarus and used me to find the Book of Eyes.”

Prue sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes widening slightly. “Did—did you love her?”

Cyrus offered a hollow laugh. “I don’t even know what love is, Prue. I can’t answer that. But I did care for her. Deeply.”

“What happened to her?”

“She betrayed me. She was willing to sacrifice me to the Book of Eyes in order to absorb its power.” Emotion churned in Cyrus’s chest as these long-buried memories rose to the surface. But he forced himself to remain composed. To keep his voice level. “I overpowered her and . . . destroyed her. I gave up my soul to bind myself to the book and return to the Underworld, along with the souls she unleashed.”

Prue was silent for a long moment. Cyrus felt her gaze on him, but he knew if he looked at her, it would undo him completely. And he was already on the brink of collapsing. The raw, festering wounds inside him throbbed and ached, pulsing with a rhythm that echoed in every bone of his body.

This was why he hated humans. This was why he hated the mortal realm. It made him feel. And those feelings made him weak.

“Destroyed,” Prue repeated at last. “What does that mean, exactly?”

“It means I burned her from existence. She is . . . no more.”

Prue fell silent, but he could sense the horror rippling off her. Once again, he was forced to remind her that he was a monster. How could she keep forgetting?

The thought fueled his anger, and he clung to it, eager for an emotion that empowered him instead of weakened him. Baring his teeth, he leaned over the table toward her. “This is who you married. This is what you’re binding yourself to, Prue. A beast. A monster. A killer. Is that what you want? An eternity of that? Because I won’t stop. I won’t change for you. Don’t delude yourself into thinking otherwise.”

Her breath shuddered, and this time, Cyrus forced himself to meet her gaze. To face the truth in her eyes. Once he did, he could finally put all this behind him. He was ready.

But when he looked at her, his whole body seemed to freeze over. His breath stilled. His mind halted. He was drowning in the depths of her lavender eyes.

She wasn’t looking at him in revulsion or terror, disbelief or anger. She was looking at him with sympathy and affection, her eyes shining. Her mouth was a soft curve, her lips parting slightly. Her cheeks were pink, her eyebrows lifted in concern.

This was almost worse. Because it made all his pent-up emotions come roiling to the surface once more. Heat stung his eyes, and he gritted his teeth.

Why am I so weak? He wanted to scream, to smash furniture, to punch holes in the wall. He couldn’t stand this. Any of it.

“That’s why you hate witches so much,” Prue said quietly. “Because of what she did to you.”

Cyrus’s nostrils flared, his teeth grinding so hard that his head throbbed. He couldn’t answer.

Prue leaned forward and grasped his hand on the table. It took all his restraint not to jerk away from her, to flip the table over in his rage.

“You’ve already changed, Cyrus,” she whispered, her thumb stroking over his knuckles. “I’ve seen it. You despised me when we first met. And now, you claim to care for me. You shared your secrets with me. How can you say you are incapable of change?”

Cyrus closed his eyes against the hope in her voice. “I don’t want to change, Prue.” His words were barely audible, but he knew she could hear them. “You can’t hold on to that hope.”

“I can do whatever I damn well please,” she snapped.

In spite of the situation, Cyrus snorted. There was that fire-breathing witch he knew so well.

The chair creaked, and Cyrus stiffened as Prue rose and stepped around the table to stand before him.

“I’m not Jade,” she said softly. “I bound myself to you by blood. I won’t betray you, Cyrus. And I’ll prove it to you.” She approached him, swinging her legs until she sat atop him, straddling him.

---