Page 17 of To Break a Dark Cage

He paused as he thought it over. “Won’t. I mean, I could tell you everything I know—but then I’d be changing things, wouldn’t I?”

“Again, then, I don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing.” She really wanted to shake the wizard sometimes, but she supposed it was much better than being alone when it came down to it. She’d prefer to have someone to talk to than nobody at all.

“If you do happen to figure it out, let me know.” He kicked a pebble up the dirt road, sending it skittering along. “It’s not like I asked to be this way. Or if I did, I clearly didn’t understand what I was in for. Not remembering who I am—where I came from—what my damn name is. But knowing literally everything else.”

It did sound more than a little miserable. “It must get very lonely.”

“It can.” He let out a breath and stared up at the sunny sky. “But then, I can distract myself by focusing in on other people’s lives. I can tell myself a billion stories through the eyes of others. It’s easy to pass the time when you have that many stations to choose from. It’s like having a cable subscription with like four million channels.” He paused. “And sometimes there’s still nothing good on.”

She snorted. “How do you know about modern things? Can you see Earth?”

“Ish. More or less. Sometimes. It’s…vague and weird. Think about it this way—Avalon and Earth aren’t stuck together like soap bubbles. We’re like planets in orbit. Sometimes we’re closer together, sometimes we’re farther apart. That’s true for all the other worlds, not just Earth.”

“Huh.” She blinked.

“When we’re closer, I can see through to the other side. I can reach through and grab small things too.” That explained the sunglasses. He gestured up at the blue expanse through the cover of the trees. “Sometimes I can see sunlight, sometimes I can’t.”

“Can…do you know if my parents are okay?”

Doc went very quiet. She didn’t know if it was because he was trying, or if he was preparing to lie to her. “No.”

She decided she was happier probably not knowing if that was the truth or not, so left it alone. “If you ever get a glimpse, would you tell me if they’re okay or not?”

“There’s nothing you could do either way. Why do you want to know if they’re not?” Doc shook his head. “Mortals. You seem to love to go from one tragedy to another, with no space in between.”

“Some of us don’t live forever. We have to make the time count.”

“Hm.” He tilted his head to the side slightly. “I suppose that’s true. Fine. If I get a glimpse of your parents, I’ll let you know if they’re all right or not.”

“Thanks.” That was a comfort, even if she didn’t know if she could trust him. He was the closest thing she had to a friend at the moment, and he was going to potentially teach her how to use magic, and/or be involved in her dying in spectacular fashion. “How long do we have to walk?”

“Eh, not too far. A day or so. Which is good, because there’s nobody around to make me a horse that doesn’t make my eyes water, and I don’t want to fucking walk more than I need to.” He made a face. “I hate walking.”

She chuckled. “I guess I’m not super fond of it either, but at least Avalon is gorgeous. When it’s not trying to kill me.” She paused. “Which is like, every other day at this point.” She scratched her side where the arrow had gone straight through her. The mental image of staring down at the tip of the arrow as it had stuck through her stomach made her shudder, though the villager who had shot the arrow in the first place had fared far worse than her. The wound had healed, but now and then she imagined it itching, which absolutely made it itch.

“Eh, if people don’t know who you are, you’re just any other normal villager. I don’t think you’ll have a problem with the locals. You had a target painted on your back when you were an elemental. Now, the forest critters—the monsters? Like the s’lei and the rest? Yeah, those you have to worry about.” He peered off into the woods, as if checking for some of the monsters in question.

“How many species of monsters live in Avalon?”

“It’s impossible to know. They come and go—appearing as if from a dream, and then disappearing just as quickly. I once had an enormous, spined, soul-eating rock golem disappear right before my very eyes because the island just decided it was bored with it.” Doc scratched the back of his neck. “Which is probably for the best, since it was about to flatten me into pulp.”

“Maybe the island did it to save you.”

“It doesn’t like me. I doubt that.”

“Why doesn’t it like you?”

“Couldn’t tell you.” He smiled at her and batted his eyes. “I’m just so sweet and caring. And not a deranged wiseass in the slightest.”

Laughing, she shrugged. “You don’t seem that bad to me. I mean about the deranged bit. You are a total wiseass.”

“When you’ve seen as much life as I have, when your head is full of a million stories, you learn to rely on one thing to get by—snark.” A beat. “Well, okay. And alcohol. And caffeine.”

“And magic.”

“Fine.” He counted the items out on his hand. “Alcohol, caffeine, magic, and snark. But mostly the snark.”

He might be a wiseass, and he might be insane, but Gwen couldn’t help but laugh when she was around the sorcerer. Laugh and smile—and feel like there might just be a shimmer of hope that everything was going to wind up okay in the end. Maybe he was Merlin—guiding people through their adventures, helping keep them on the right path.

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