Page 47 of Just One More Moment

She tipped her head to the side. “Does shit go bad often? Or are you talking about after your mom died?” She knew she was pushing him but she sensed he needed to release the hurt, pain, and guilt resulting from his choices that night.

“She didn’t die, she was murdered,” he muttered.

Oh, he was in a mood and she was right. He blamed himself for deciding to go out with a girl instead of having dinner with his mother. And now he felt like his siblings should take precedence in visiting with their dad because guilt was a bitch, as she knew from Emily’s attack and her own resulting remorse.

She repositioned herself, curling her legs beneath her. “Remy.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Your rational self knows it’s not your fault. In the course of all your cases, how many people have you told the same thing?”

“Too many. And why are you psychoanalyzing me?” He pushed himself further back against the pillows and headboard.

“Because I think you’ll feel better after you get this poison out of your system. I also think nobody in the family realizes how deeply you still blame yourself. Let me ask you something. Do you think your father blames you?”

He gritted his teeth. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

She leaned up on her knees. “But we’re going to. Because you’re the best man I’ve ever met and I hate to see you punish yourself.”

He threw the covers off his waist and rose to his feet, grabbing for a pair of track pants that lay over the recliner.

“You can’t run from your problems, Remy.”

“Why the fuck not? You plan to,” he said as he put his second leg into the pants and settled them on his hips before walking out the door.

She blinked, her eyes filling with tears. He’d turned his anger and frustration on her and it hurt.

***

An hour afterhe’d stormed out of the bedroom after having a tantrum like a child, Remy stared at the screen on the computer in his office. He was unable to focus on anything and hadn’t accomplished one damn thing.

All he’d done was try to avoid the truth that Raven had hit on with accuracy. His guilt impacted his choices today. Oh, even without the remorse he felt for the night his mother died, he might have stepped back and allowed his siblings to go see his father first anyway. But he wouldn’t have had the pain in his chest and the fear that he was to blame.

Why had this come up now, though? Today should have been about his father’s health. When he let himself think about it, the answer was clear. If his dad died, they would have lost both parents and Remy felt he was to blame. He shook his head and groaned. No wonder he’d understood Lizzie’s feelings so well. But if she wasn’t at fault for her actions after his father’s heart attack, if she’d done the best she could, was he at fault for being a kid?

Damn. Maybe he should have listened to the therapist his father had forced all the kids to see during their grieving period for their mom. Instead, he’d sat mulishly silent, until the man had told Alex he was paying for nothing and he didn’t think he’d reach Remy at all. When his father asked Remy if he wanted to try another psychologist, he’d shaken his head. And that had been that.

Raven was smarter than he was, figuring him out in no time. And he’d treated her like shit.

“Dammit.” Knowing he needed to apologize, he pushed his chair back and rose to his feet. He started to walk out of his office only to run into Raven. She still wore his T-shirt, which he had to admit he found fucking hot. But he didn’t feel the same way about her red-rimmed eyes or the tear tracks on her pale skin.

She folded her arms across her chest and stared at him, chin tilted up, her eyes filled with hurt he’d caused.

He forced himself to meet her gaze. “I’m sorry. I was angry and I hated the fact that you were right so I lashed out. What I said was wrong, and cruel.”

“Arguing is one thing but I don’t fight dirty,” she said, her voice hoarse. “If I wasn’t worried about Lance, I would have been out of here for good. I had enough verbal slaps growing up. I won’t take them from you.”

God, he admired her strength and how she protected herself from anything that came at her. He was disgusted that she felt she had to do it from him.

“It won’t happen again,” he said, holding out his arms. He’d be more self-aware, even if dealing with his feelings felt like he was drowning in them.

She narrowed her gaze. “And you’ll talk to your father and cleanse that guilt?”

The woman drove a hard bargain but since he’d planned on doing that anyway, and he’d have agreed to walk across hot coals if it meant she forgave him, he nodded. “I will.”

A second later, she’d stepped forward and then she was in his embrace, letting him hug her to him and whisper words heknewshe didn’t want to hear.

His girl had her own issues when it came to dealing with feelings but he understood why. Her situation wasn’t over and done with. He couldn’t just demand she get over it or ask her to talk things through and move on. But no matter how difficult her world got, she didn’t lash out at him.

He knelt and slid one hand beneath her knees, lifting her into his arms and heading for the bedroom where he held her for the rest of the night.

***

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