Page 93 of Five Days to Be Mine

She’s great at sculptures and large builds and she’s just one of these pleasant, upbeat people.

Though Sabrina and Kyle made comments about my weight, Jenny didn’t say anything…negative, but I frown, seeing if I am excusing the off-handed comment about me not wanting anything sweet.

“I’m not on a diet,” I blurt out the words and look out the window.

“Okay,” Jenny says, a quizzical expression on her face.

“I like my body. I don’t want any comments about my weight.”

Jenny turns bright red, her shoulders hunch up to her neck.

“Mara, if I ever said anything that made you feel uncomfortable, I am really sorry. Like I said last night, Sabrina and Kyle were like this force that it was easy to get wrapped up in. They knew all these glamorous people, took us to the most exclusive places, did everything they could to create the illusion that being in their company, never mind working for them, was an exclusive privilege. But I think Kyle’s gambling got out of hand.”

Suddenly, the world tilts on me and I bite my cheek hard.

Because I can’t believe I went and worked for someone with a gambling problem and didn't clue in to that fact.

Maybe it’s because Kevin had the job, the client list, the pretty woman on his arm?

Maybe it was because his addiction was prettier than my father’s?

I know that is it and I don't like it.

I know over the years I justified it to myself, as Kevin only likes to bet on the occasional sports team.

He doesn’t do anything like online poker or horse races or go to casinos and lose constantly at the blackjack tables.

Shame, hot and real, threatens to overwhelm me and I can't believe that I spent almost a decade of my life working for someone who really was the prettier version of my father.

But isn’t it true that we’ll tolerate things if they are pretty?

We’ll put up with bad behaviour from our boss because he looks like he could be on the cover of a magazine.

I am a skilled artist and I've spent hours honing my craft. I could have taken a job with someone else.

“I wish I had found a new job. That I was brave enough.”

“But look at you now! You’re starting a new business. That’s brave.”

“Only because Evan is helping me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, Mara.” Jenny flashes me a smile, but I'm uncomfortable.

It feels like I haven't earned this. Like I'm like my father, who has a long track record of taking advantage of people.

It’s easy to push these thoughts to the side though, because it’s a busy few hours of emptying the shed.

Thank goodness I have Alex and Marc and Jenny.

I’m sweaty and gross by the time everything is loaded into the truck but it’s done and I can't stop smiling.

“Thanks guys, I’ll see you there in a few.”

“Can’t wait to see the space.” Alex gives me a wave and I venture into the construction zone that is mom and Arthur's house.

The floor from the front door to the back is taped off, but I just need access to my room so I can grab more clothes.

After I'm done packing, I peek in the kitchen.

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