Page 76 of Blood of the Stars

CHAPTER 30

Orra stood on the prow of Starspeed, closing her eyes and letting the wind rifle through her hair, praying for the Sun’s light to fill her to the brim.

The storm had come and gone, taking portions of their foremast and mizzenmast with it. She’d known it would be the case when Gaeren chose that path, but there was little she could do about it. They’d been delayed four days already, and would likely be stuck on the coast of the sound for another two or three for repairs. Even now the sound of hammers on wood clashed with the peaceful warmth she absorbed.

Gaeren worked as hard as the others, gaining their respect in ways he couldn’t have earned otherwise. The delay had purpose even if she’d rather be on the move. Her frustration was nothing compared to Gaeren’s palpable agitation, which made Lenda and the younger crew avoid him.

To pass the time, she’d told the men more stories of her time at sea, making up ancestors instead of revealing her role in history. People had trouble understanding the weight of immortality. They had trouble accepting it. Even Orra hadn’t understood its full impact until the last thousand years. Chasing what the people called starbridges while knowing the Stars watched—likely judged—gave her fresh perspective. She toyed with the braid on her wrist.

“Is there significance to your bracelet?” Gaeren’s voice didn’t startle her. She’d sensed him standing there for the last several moments, debating if and when he should interrupt her thoughts. Likely deciding if it was worth breaking his silence to get more answers.

Without opening her eyes, she nodded. “It was a gift.” A gift, a farewell. A painful reminder. Nothing was ever just one thing.

“From a bondmate?”

In another time, she might have laughed. “Bonds are a trivial attempt to mirror an intimacy that goes beyond what the world offers.”

She opened her eyes, flicking a meaningful glance in Lenda’s direction. Their bond wasn’t taking. Orra had tested it because she suspected as much. Gaeren fought it, and for that reason Orra respected him more than most men.

Gaeren’s eyes widened, but he didn’t say anything. It was probably the first time they’d agreed on something. She supposed she’d been hard on him, asking things she couldn’t answer herself, questioning his motives when he could just as easily question hers.

She wanted the arrow, but she had no intention of making the world bigger or smaller. Was it wrong to want it for her own gain after all these years? Did it make it any more right if obtaining it also benefitted Gaeren or Aeliana? She glanced back at her wrist, where the soft blond strands shone in the Sun’s light, wishing she could ask its owner for advice one last time. And yet, she didn’t need to ask him. She already knew he would tell her to seek out the Sun.

“He was more than a bondmate,” she said softly. “He was my other half.” She wasn’t sure why she revealed this detail. Few people knew the braid’s significance. They were all long gone now anyway. Men she’d bonded with, women she’d confided in. Children who became adults then faded to dust, like winex aging as fast as the moon. Only they didn’t return like the winex, and Orra no longer wished to distract herself from her true purpose.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Gaeren wiped the sweat from his brow, glancing back at the men still working. He showed promise. The light shining from him was the same as it had been for others in generations past. A hope that gave her love for people, even the misguided ones.

“Thank you,” she murmured, pressing the braid to her lips, longing to feel its hum. To sense the starbridges once more. Gaeren returned to his work, rebuilding threads that joined him to his crew along with the masts that had kept them from sailing.

Was it too late to rebuild her threads with the Sun after all these years? She used to want to fix things to regain the Sun’s favor. But the Sun wasn’t the oppressive judge the Vendarans believed it to be. Her own shame and guilt kept her from claiming the Sun’s full favor. She could sing a dying human to the Sun’s light, but she’d lost her own right to that gift long ago. Hadn’t she?

She was grounded to the earth, tethered in ways she didn’t want by all the actions she regretted. But the Sun had left her here for a purpose. She might never be free again, but there were wounds she could heal, wrongs she could right.

She would put things back together even if it took her another thousand years.

CHAPTER 31

Aeliana found herself watching for Felk’s return even though Sylmar insisted the winex were long gone. Now that they traveled on horseback, they had covered more ground, but it wouldn’t be impossible for the winex to keep up.

“They fear magic. They won’t be back,” Sylmar said when he caught Aeliana squinting at the darkness beyond their campfire. “There’s no need to be concerned.”

“I’m not afraid,” Aeliana said, and it was true. What she felt was more like curiosity, but even that was numbed by the energy filling her.

“They could come back with the new moon,” Velden said. “They won’t remember Sylmar’s warning then.” He offered Aeliana a biscuit, but she shook her head. Her belly felt too full to ingest anything. It had felt that way for the last day, and despite the energy growing inside her, she sensed her body getting weaker without nourishment.

“I’m more concerned about the sprites,” Kendalyhn muttered, glaring at the creek, which had widened significantly as the day wore on. Sylmar had wanted to travel farther, but the others refused to camp any closer to Lovers’ Falls. Supposedly it was the home of the sprites, who were just as likely to curse someone seeking their aid as they were to grant a wish. Instead of stopping, their party would skirt the sprites during the Sun’s reign.

After dinner, Sylmar pulled Aeliana aside. She assumed it was for another lesson even though the previous night had ended with her falling asleep while trying to adjust the energy within her. They sat across from each other on two large rocks, the sounds of smothered laughter and chatter drifting from where the others remained by the fire.

“Your lessons aren’t going well.” Sylmar’s blunt words were like icy wind on Aeliana’s face. They stung, but they also brought her awake.

“I grew up believing magic was a tool for stealing, hurting, and killing.” She pressed her lips together, knowing it still was for people like Arvid. “It’s hard to instantly reverse my thinking.” She wrapped her cloak tighter around herself even though it made her skin feel taut and raw.

He grunted, but it didn’t necessarily sound like he disagreed. “I fear you’re beyond lessons at this point. We may need to bleed you.”

The heat enveloping Aeliana was near bursting, but something cold still slithered through her. “You said we wouldn’t use blood magic.”

He held up a hand. “You’re right, we won’t use it. But you need a release of the energy inside you. I’d prefer to wean you by having you expend small bits of energy, but if that’s not possible, bleeding small bits is the only other way.”

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