Page 7 of Except You

He reaches out and clasps my hand but pulls away before I can squeeze him back. For a second, I regret not moving faster, and then realize I’ve gone insane. I don’t want to hold any man’s hand. Not his. Not anyone’s.

“What do you like most about him? Your brother, I mean.”

I think on that a moment because it’s not just one thing. I’ve always admired him, loved that he seemed to march to his own beat his whole life. Although, that light always seemed to dim when he was around us, the family. Now I know why.

“He was always unique and feisty. But when I look back, I realize I didn’t know him, not the entirety of him. Not really.”

“Yeah, seems he was afraid to show himself to you. But that’s okay. There’s time to make amends.”

“Hopefully,” I say, sipping at my hot chocolate once more, the warm liquid flowing down my throat and making my stomach warm.

“Anyways, enough with the heavy stuff. How about you tell me what sports you play? You listed three, but I’m thinking there are more.”

That topic makes my brain spin, it’s so easy to talk about this. I sit up a little straighter and ramble on about all the different sports I played in high school and college, and then the basketball and baseball leagues I’m in now. Beau listens intently, his mug of hot chocolate empty shortly after. It’s then that I realize I’ve talked too much and that the hot chocolate sitting in my mug is now cold.

My cheeks heat, and I shift in my seat. “Sorry. I got carried away.”

“No, I like how excited you get about all of it. It’s very cool. I’ve never played a sport. Well, I mean, I was a cheerleader in high school.”

I snort, and he grins at me. “That’s a sport.”

“I guess. I am pretty bendy. Comes in handy.”

The way he says that makes my eyebrows rise. “I guess you’d have to be.”

He bobs his head. “Yep. Lost some of it because it’s been a while since I’ve competed, but I can still do a wicked handstand. I’ll show you sometime.”

“Cool.”

We stare at each other, and I shift in my seat, not quite sure what to do now.

“So, where do you live? At home with your parents still? Or do you have a place of your own?”

“A place of my own,” I say. “Just a condo, nothing special.”

“That’s very cool. I rent a studio apartment just down the street from here. It’s small and a little gross, but I do get a nice front-row seat to my neighbors fucking and fighting often. Such fun.”

I snort a laugh, and he grins goofily at me. “So, you have anyone in your life? A wife? A girlfriend?”

“No. Not currently.”

“Same, I mean, but with guys. Just having fun with my random hookups. Can’t be bothered with more. You know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

I don’t, not really. I want to settle down, just haven’t found the right person. The last woman I was with was over two years ago. Kate and I were together for a little over a year and broke it off when she wanted to move to Wisconsin but I wanted to stay here, in California. I have a decent job at a financial firm, and I get to work from home quite a bit. I have family here. It just felt like the right decision to stay. So, she left, and I haven’t been with anyone else since.

Magnus has done everything I’ve wanted to. He found his person and he has a family of his own. He seems happy. Fuck, I want that too.

“Hey, you know what? It’s getting late,” Beau says a moment later, and I glance down at my phone, realizing that it’s almost midnight. I’ve spent almost three hours with this guy, and it felt like fifteen minutes.

“I still wanna see if I can hook someone tonight. It’s been a while,” Beau explains, reaching out his hand and wiggling his fingers. “Phone, please. I’d like to exchange numbers. You know, if you ever need anything or have questions or just need to process anything.”

It’s so kind and unexpected that I freeze for a little too long. He blinks and his lips start to turn down. Not wanting to see him frown, I slap my phone into his palm, and he grins up at me, quickly entering his number and then handing it back to me. A second later, I see a message pop up from an unknown number.

“Now you have mine. Text or call me anytime. I mean it.”

I nod and watch as he stands up and holds out his arms. “Come on. A goodbye hug. One for the road.”

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