Page 67 of Meraux Mafia: No Ordinary Love

“I can’t imagine it’s easy for you to pick up and leave everything you’ve known, but you’re only an hour away, Lo. You can go home as often as you need to. I’m not holding you, hostage.”

“That’s not a point I would argue after what your father did.”

After Marcel, I promised myself I wouldn’t be so passive. I would speak up for myself and not hold things in. Maybe if I had, Marcel and I would’ve fixed our issues before almost getting married. I had nothing but time to think, and though his cheating wasn’t on me, there were other issues in our relationship. We needed help but masked them with a wedding instead of getting it.

Despite wanting to shut down, I expressed the source of my anger with Gianni, “It feels like I’m giving up my entire life for whatever this is, and I don’t like it. I’m carrying this baby. I have to marry you. I have to leave my home and move.”

“Why do you have to say here like I’m moving you to some third-world country.”

“It feels like it right now. I know you’ve sacrificed too. It’s just-.”

“A lot.”

“I always imagined this experience would be different. With somebody I loved and somebody who loved me. You can’t tell me you didn’t imagine this with Kyerra.”

He did. Gianni just chose not to admit it.

“No, we’re not in love, but we saw something in each other that night. We can keep fighting each other over shit we can’t change or try to build on that.”

“Like friends,” I added as he watched me seductively, forcing my defenses to subside. Sure, I could blame the pain; although that was part of it, I knew what I was doing. It wasn’t until I discovered I was pregnant that I regretted it.

“Best friends who raise the dopest kid,” Gianni added, and the thought excited me so much that a smile betrayed my face. “Is that a smile I see?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I was thinking about something Niyomi said.”

“Shit, I owe her some flowers or something.”

“Whatever. That’s one of your better ideas. We know what this is, and we know what it’s not. For now, all we can do is get to know each other for the sake of raising this kid.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad. I’m sure you thought about leaving Marcel more than you ever thought about getting rid of Denim and Niyomi.”

“True, but it’s not the same. I wanted to marry for love.”

“Different isn’t always bad, Lo. Who knows, it might be better this way. You can do life with your homie, baby daddy, and friend. Somebody you can have fun, travel, and joke with. Eventually, we’ll learn to trust each other with the hard shit. For now, we’re all we got and all she’s got, so be my partner in crime. Besides, it doesn’t seem like you had many real niggas in your life, so I don’t mind showing you what life is like with one.”

“As exciting as that sounds, it’s not easy for me to trust someone I don’t know.”

“I picked up on that,” Sarcasm dripped from his sexy lips, “Trust that I love that little girl. It’s nothing I won’t do for her, including taking care of her annoying mother.” His comment might’ve come off rude, but the smile in his eyes contained a sensuous flame.

“Wow, how can I ever turn down an offer like that?”

“You can’t. In time, you’ll fall in love with a nigga anyway, so it’ll make shit a lot easier.”

It was moments like these that I believed Gianni’s statement. Outside of him being insanely handsome, he was sweet and charismatic- all qualities I could see myself falling in love with. Maybe that was why I was so resistant to this situation. I feared falling for Gianni and him never feeling the same about me. My head was fucked up and a clear sign that I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship.

“Now that we’ve come to an understanding, we need to discuss the terms of our marriage, Pretty Lady.” Gianni maintained as his grin melted the ice around my heart.

“Great, just kick me while I’m down,” I exasperated, while Gianni enjoyed the show at my expense.

“It has to be discussed.”

“Discussed.” I flipped my eyes because there wasn’t going to be a discussion. He would tell me the terms, and I’d have no choice but to agree, “At dessert. I’m ordering the cheesecake, and I don’t want to hear a damn thing about it,” I warned, anticipating his speech about the importance of a balanced diet. If I had to discuss the terms of this marriage, at least let me do it while eating something delicious.

Gianni surrendered with a smile as the waiter approached our table to take our order. We managed to enjoy dinner up until it was time for dessert. Gianni waited until the server brought my cheesecake to discuss the terms of our marriage in hopes of lessening the blow.

Listening to him discuss marriage sounded like contract negotiations at work which ruined my appetite. I always envisioned myself getting married because of love, but of all the things he discussed, love wasn’t anywhere in sight.

Under no circumstance were we allowed to divorce unless Gianni cheated or became abusive. At that point, I’d be granted a hefty severance which didn’t feel like fair compensation given the reason I’d receive it. Gianni picked up on the change in my demeanor as he slid the documents across.

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