Page 88 of The Billionaire

“Whoa…look at me.”

His soft palms were on the sides of my cheeks, the touch doing nothing to me. I felt like I had ingested a form of paralyzing medicine, and all I could do was sit there. It felt like one of those dreams where you were trying to speak but nothing comes out. Where you’re trying all your might to run, but you can’t. I was a mess.

His dark eyes searched mine, but my drug induced-like daze wouldn’t connect with him, and instead, I looked into the glass house. The erotic scenes. Naked people. Flashes of lights. Couples engaging in erotic pleasure just as I had been engaged in moments before. Yet, now I sat feeling robbed of something. I couldn’t figure it out, but I felt numb. Disconnected. I couldn’t bear to look at him. But I couldn’t tell him how I felt. I didn’t know how I felt. I just…wanted to run away. Go home. It’s too intense. All of it.

“I don’t understand. Can you talk to me here?”

I continued to look down at my bare thighs.

“What happened? Talk to me. Come on.”

I exhaled out a breath, searching for words. For something. I owed him something.

“You designed this device.”

“And that freaks you out? You seemed to enjoy it.” His arms were on the side of me as he leaned in. He was inches from my eyes as he looked deep within my eyes. I felt chills being so close to him. My body on fire, wanting him, so badly wanting him. But that was just it. I didn’t just want his body. I wanted us. I wanted emotionally more and that’s the reason for my breakdown.

I think.

“It’s not that.” I shook my head, the tears welling, up waiting for their release. I slowly blinked, releasing the heavy, heavy tears crashing down my face. I took a quick breath before I began the crying phase where short breaths, sniffles, and more tears nearing the brink of hyperventilating sounded.

“Other women.” He took a step back, and crossed his arms, and studied the situation as he threw me a bone of suggestion.

Yes. Other fucking women.

You fucking women!

Other women receiving pleasure from the device you created, while you probably watched.

I nodded, showing some sort of sign that yes, this was the reason for my shut down, my melt down, my moment.

In an instant, he wrapped his arms around me, whispering, “Baby. Come here.” I let his strong chest cradle my faint head as his warm familiar arms wrapped tighter around me. Those strong arms that knew just how to work me. Those strong arms that had held countless of others.

I pulled away from him. I could see the hurt across his face as his fists balled up. He clenched his jaw before dropping it open. I knew he couldn’t believe what was happening.

I let my crazy thoughts rest for a moment as I looked out into the waves crashing behind the infinity pool. Maybe I would calm down if I took a few deep breaths and zoned out. Maybe this view of the ocean would calm me down. But it didn’t. I felt anger inside my chest, welling up to my throat.

Anger at being such a stupid girl who would fly to Maui and get swept away. I told myself I wouldn’t do this! Get into this predicament!

“I thought it wouldn’t bother me; I’ve been fighting it. But it does bother me. It bothers me a great deal. You with other women. This. Whatever we’re doing. I can’t…I can’t…I can’t do it!”

I was now inhaling and exhaling between my hiccups and sobs. I was really letting myself feel everything I had been denying.

"Truth is, I'm a jealous person. Especially of hearing about all of those women, and I can't help but feel that I'm just your kitten of the week. I can't help but feel that there will be others after me, and as much as I want to just throw caution to the wind, I can't. My heart feels too much to keep playing like this. I can’t just ‘do sex’”.

He didn't say anything but looked down.

“McKenzie, I'm different now.”

“But you know what, we barely know each other. How am I to know that? How am I to trust that?”

“That's just it. You have to trust me. This is real for me.”

The tears poured down my face, my view completely blurred as I looked down the ground.

“Please look at me—”

I looked up at him and saw a very tight, concerned face.

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