Page 90 of The Billionaire

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I cried halfthe plane ride home. It was just the pilot and two attendants and me. A driver took me home. I arrived to an empty apartment, and it was past 2am. I really needed Shelly but I wouldn’t spoil any fun she was having on account of me being a Debbie Downer

The time delay worked to my advantage, and I’d make my classes in the morning. As I poured the bathwater and soaked into rose salts, I immediately regretted the decision for using the scent. Roses, from now on, would always and forever remind me of that night at the club when and where I met him.

It would always remind me of a life of luxury, a life of precarious moments. A life of throwing caution to the wind. It was now time to get my old self back and get back to what I could control. What I’m good at. What my own dreams are.

Medical school.

Go to sleep. Go to sleep!

I let out an annoyed sigh. I just wanted to sleep, to slip away and forget about my thoughts. Forget about him.

It was 3:37am. How much longer was I going to toss and turn?

It was midnight in Maui. I wonder what he’s doing….

Stop thinking!

I threw off my blanket and made my way into the living room. Might as well study. I made some coffee, lit our fire place, and changed into cozy leggings, socks, and a sweatshirt. I read a couple pages of notes from last week’s lecture but my mind kept replaying the memories of hours earlier. Just hours earlier!

“Stop thinking!” I shouted at myself to an empty room.

The door swung open, and it was Shelly with hazy eyes, obviously tipsy. She screamed in fright when she saw me which caused me to shriek in fright as well.

“What!?”

“Why are you here!? And not there!?” She placed her bag down on the table before furiously pacing in front of me, all the while shouting at me as if I were her daughter and I disappointed her. “What the FUCK is wrong with you, McKenzie! What the FUCK!?”’ Yet I couldn’t even bring myself to give her an answer. All I could do was keep my head in my hands, shaking it back and forth. I couldn’t even bring myself to tears. There was no emotion.

Zilch.

Nada.

It was as if that last sexual moment with him out on the terrace by the sea not only birthed the most crazy emotional experience I’d ever felt, but something else was released.

Something I wasn’t sure what was.

And it scared me to hell.

“What…happened?”

I continued rolling my head in my hands, unable to form words. I felt brain dead. There were absolutely NO thoughts. No feeling.

I was frozen.

“Hellllooooooo???? Earth to McKenzie?”

“I don’t know,” I managed to mumble.

“What’s that?”

“I don’t know!” I shouted louder.

“Hey, you don’t have to shout at me.”

“You’re shouting! I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be shouting at you. It’s just, you’re shouting at me like you’re so disappointed in me. And, I can’t bear to think that. I can’t take that right now. I can’t—”

And then the tears poured.

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