Page 49 of Pieces of Us

Maybe you were.

“So, you chose to leave.”

“Yes,” Carter whispers, his voice catching on the end of the word.

“To prove him wrong.”

“I…” Carter pauses, shifting in his seat. “Maybe. At first. But I think—I think it’s more about proving to myself that I’m right. Probably not much of a difference, but…”

“It is. A difference, I mean. A big one. And I’m still proud of you. No matter where this new journey takes you. If you love it, or hate it and want to come back, or want to do something else entirely—all of it is something to be proud of, Carter.” I shake my head. “Hell, every time you wake up in the morning is something to be proud of.”

He goes quiet, pressing his forehead to the window. I let him sit in silence until we reach his apartment before trying a final apology—this time doing it the way Nolan said I should.

“Listen, Carter…” I sigh, rubbing anxiously at the back of my neck. You practiced this, you can do it. “I need to apologize.”

Carter groans, waving a hand toward me like he’s trying to wipe me away. “Please don’t. You already have. A lot. It’s…just…enough.”

“I have, but—well, it’s always been with a but. This time it’s not.”

He hesitates before lifting his chin defiantly. “I’m listening…”

Don’t fuck this up.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for keeping secrets. Fuck—I’m sorry for even before then. I’m sorry for accepting this job when I knew you and Mom were my responsibility. When I knew it’d put you both in danger. I’m sorry for not being present for you after we lost Mom. I’m sorry for not stepping down after she passed to come home to you. To protect you.” I curl my hands at my sides, not wanting him to see that they’re shaking. “I’m sorry I didn’t break up the auction and save you that first night. I’m sorry for every night after that when I didn’t come for you either. And I’m sorry for telling Travis he couldn’t tell you the truth.”

Carter just watches me after I finish, looking expectant. I worry for a second that there’s more he wants from me. I’ll give him anything he asks for.

I’m just about to add something—I don’t even know what, that was all I had practiced—when he suddenly softens. “Thank you.”

It’s then that I realize what he had been waiting for—a but. An excuse. And by finally not giving him one, he can accept my apology. I barely have time to think Nolan is so fucking smart before Carter is launching himself at me, giving me the kind of desperate hug I used to get as the big brother returning home for a visit. I immediately grab on to him, holding him close as he starts to sob.

“Thank you,” he says again, his body shaking in my arms.

I don’t say a damn thing, not willing to risk ruining this. I just hold him as he works through his mess of emotions, silent tears falling down my cheeks and my chest quaking a little with the strength it takes to hold back sobs of my own. There’s nothing to say that this hug doesn’t say for me.

I’m here.

You’re safe.

I love you, little brother.

Chapter Sixteen

Nolan

There’s a light knock on my door a few hours after the sun has risen. I’m already awake, have been for most of the night, but Matt is out cold beside me. Hoping not to wake him, I carefully slide off the bed and head over to answer before the person can knock again. I’m pretty sure I know who it is, anyway.

Sure enough, I find Maison Beckett standing in the dimly lit hall. He smells like his spicy deodorant, his hair damp and his cheeks flushed. He’s dressed in a sweatshirt and worn jeans, but no shoes or socks. I find myself staring at his bare toes for a little too long. There’s just something so naked about them. Have I ever seen his feet before? Why does it feel like I shouldn’t be allowed to look at them?

“Hey,” he whispers. I’m not sure why he’s whispering. Maybe because Matt is asleep. Maybe because he knows I’m upset. Maybe because he’s about to let me down yet again. “Did you sleep okay?”

Despite being upset, I still can’t lie to him. “No.”

“Me either.” He rubs at the back of his head. “Nolan, I’m sorry. I made you a promise, and I broke it. I put Carter first and I—I’m really fucking sorry.”

I clasp my hands together behind my back, digging my nails into my skin. “Did you go to the doctor yet?”

“I’m going right now.” He swallows hard before forcing his eyes to meet mine. I realize then that he’s terrified. “I just wanted to let you know. I didn’t want you in there thinking I was still ignoring what you asked me to do.”

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