Page 76 of Pieces of Us

I take a bite out of my bacon. Fuck you for making sense, Singh.

Speaking of the doctor—a look at my watch lets me know it’s about the time Casey is supposed to meet with Dr. Singh. I scarf down my food and tug on some clean clothes before heading down to the kitchen, wanting to be around in case Jake needs some moral support. Sure enough, I find him looking lost at the breakfast counter, Casey’s stuffed dolphin clutched tight in his hands. I make us each a mug of coffee before taking a seat beside him.

“Nice dolphin,” I say, gesturing to the stuffed dolphin that I’m ninety percent sure is named David.

He smiles, not at me but at the stuffed animal. “It’s Casey’s.”

“I figured.” It’s such a daddy thing for him to do, sitting here with Casey’s stuffed dolphin as he waits for the boy to need him. My heart breaks for him. For both of them.

“How’s he doing?” I ask, both because I’m worried about the young man and also because Jake could probably use someone to talk to. Especially because Casey asked us to keep it from Carter, which means Jake needs to keep it from Travis too.

Jake sighs. “Okay, I think. Dr. Singh seems to think the worst is over. That Casey finally decided to… live.”

I clasp a hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad. I’m really fucking glad, bud.”

He wipes a trembling hand down his face and huffs a soft laugh. Then he shakes me off and side-eyes me. “How are things going with Nolan?”

I wasn’t expecting that, my face going hot like a total amateur. Of course, he’s one of my best fucking friends, so he can’t just let the reaction go, the asshole. “I’m sorry, are you fucking blushing?”

“What? No. Don’t be ridiculous. I—you…” I try to think of something to say. Something else. Anything else. But my damn head is nothing but Nolan, Nolan, Nolan. It’s hopeless. “He’s amazing. I mean—no. Not amazing. I mean, he is amazing. He’s completely fucking amazing.” I cringe as I realize that’s not what he means. I was asking about Casey’s mental well-being. He’s probably asking the same. He probably doesn’t even fucking know about me and Nolan being… whatever the fuck we are. Idiot. “But you’re asking how he is, like, mentally. Which makes sense. Because we’re talking about Casey’s mental state. And Nolan mentally is… alright. He’s doing alright. Better than I expected, but still struggling with some things.”

I wait for him to save me. He doesn’t, just sitting there with an eyebrow raised in what I’m pretty sure is a trademark daddy move. And I’m apparently weak against Daddy Jake because I start spilling everything on my mind. “He asked me to fuck him. Did you hear that the other night? He was completely wasted and just tossed it right out there. We haven’t talked about it since. He might not even remember. He probably doesn’t remember. But that’s fine. Totally fine. I’m sure he’s nowhere near ready for that anyway. Which is fine. Completely fine. I’d wait forever if he needed it. Not that I need to wait. We aren’t together or anything. I mean, we spend time together, of course, but we aren’t like… together. Are you and Casey together now? Together, together? Sorry, that’s none of my business. I just thought—anyway. Nolan is doing alright. He’s talking about culinary school, even. So. Yeah. Great. Amazing, really. Nolan is amazing.”

He blinks at me. Then, “Wow.”

“What?”

“You’re fucking gone for him, aren’t you?”

I groan miserably, folding my arms on the counter and banging my head against them. There’s no point in denying it. Denial was so two weeks ago. I’m fucking in this now. Have been for a while. “So. Fucking. Gone.”

“Oh, my friend. I am so fucking sorry.”

“Why can’t we stop falling for them? These little shitheads. They’re systematically breaking down our training. Taking us down one by one.” It’s true, too. Travis and Carter. Jake and Casey. Me and Nolan. Even Keats had made a confusing comment about Bryce. “You notice Matt and Ace? They’re practically inseparable these days.”

Jake chuckles. “They’re just so fucking strong. And beautiful. And beautifully strong.”

“Yes.” I lift my head to look at him, glad to be understood. “And they burrow their way into our hearts and it’s… hopeless, really.”

“Hopeless,” he agrees before shrugging. “Or maybe they’re the last bit of hope left for us.”

I smile, fairly certain I can see that side of things as well. “Maybe, yeah.”

“Culinary school, huh? That’d be great for him.”

“Yeah. Problem is, he has to leave here to do it.”

“We could try to get him the same deal as Casey and Carter.”

I shake my head. “No, we can’t. I tried. The head is done with that. He told the director to tell us that he’d need to fucking declassify this place at the rate we’re all breaking rules. And I guess I can’t exactly argue against that.”

“Maybe he could move in with Carter? Casey’s room is open.”

No.

Except that’s not my decision to make, is it? “Yeah. Right. Um… maybe.”

“You could go with him,” Jake says, sounding sympathetic. “The operation is done now. We’re allowed to retire at any time.”

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