Page 17 of His Alone

“I’m sorry. Please just let me get the whole story out before you make comments, okay?”

“Fine. Continue.”

“That position is what I was hoping to work up to here, but Richardson has a lot of years left in him. It’ll be a long time before he retires, which means I’m kind of stuck where I’m at. Nothing was keeping me here so I didn’t even stop to think about it. I flew out to sign the papers that weekend.”

As promised, I kept my mouth shut when he paused to let everything sink in. All I could think about was if I had known he was leaving when we first met, maybe I wouldn’t have been so enamored. Maybe I wouldn’t have bothered to think about him, knowing it’d be a waste of time.

Who was I kidding? I would have wanted him regardless. The knowledge only would have brought me more pain.

“Remember the first time we met?” he asked, breaking me out of my thoughts. “In the break room? I was talking to Emily and turned to you and just… froze. I can’t explain why it happened, but I knew right then. One look at your face and I knew I fucked up. But it was too late. Every time I saw you, all I could think about was how much I regretted signing that contract.”

“Wait. Is that why I hardly ever saw you? Because you were avoiding me on purpose?”

James laughed, but there was no humor in it. Everything started to click into place, though it didn’t ease my aching heart.

“I tried to,” he admitted with a sigh. “But I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so I eventually gave in. I just… I had to know.”

“Know what?”

“If there was really something there.”

I thought about all the times I wondered the same thing, staring up at my ceiling and trying to convince myself that it was my imagination. That it was crazy to want someone I just met so badly. That he would never want me the same way in return.

To know it wasn’t one-sided meant the world to me.

James must have sensed the shift in my mood. His hands reached out for mine, clasping them together before he continued.

“I knew I was right after the Christmas party. After that kiss. There’s something between us—something worth fighting for. So I tried to find a way to make it work.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me any of this?”

“I was afraid I’d scare you off. This is all going down really fucking fast. I’ve questioned my sanity several times since I met you,” he said with a dry laugh. “Listen, if I have to, I’ll come back when I have days off and spend them with you. We can try to sync our time off and do the long-distance thing in the meantime.”

“What if I don’t want to do it that way?”

His eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas. It was horribly endearing and I felt myself smiling even though I was trying to remain cool and collected despite the butterflies working overtime in my stomach.

“My business trip over the holidays? I visited the hospital I’ll be working at to find out if they have any openings for your position. They’re full at the moment, but another hospital in the network has a spot that’s all yours if you want it. You came highly recommended by a very handsome, charming doctor.”

“You… You went to Philly to get me a job?”

“Technically I went to visit my new landlord and upgrade to a larger apartment. A one-bedroom is fine for me, but I thought you might appreciate having a little more space. I also moved the majority of my stuff over there while I had the time. There was a lot going on.”

That certainly explained the randomness of the times we spoke at, as well as why he always seemed so tired and distracted in the evenings. A small part of me still wished he would have just talked to me about everything, but I understood why he didn’t.

“You really want to do this,” I said, unable to keep the hint of disbelief out of my voice. I was stunned. “You want me to move in with you. Move to a new city with you and… live together.”

“I do. I want to see you every day, even if that means we have to do things a little out of order.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we’ll pretty much be dating while living together. It’s not exactly the standard way of doing it.”

A jolt of fear raced up my spine. “What if things don’t work out between us? Where will I go?”

“If things don’t work out, I’ll pay for you to get your own place. Hell, I’ll pay to send you back here, if that’s what you want. I’ll pay your rent, pay for the moving truck… all of it. I’ll even put it in writing if it’ll give you peace of mind.”

“You thought about this already,” I said, more of a comment than a question. He nodded and I saw the determination in his eyes. “But you don’t think it’ll come to that.”

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