Page 10 of Broken Hearts

“That’s not what that was.”

I shook my head. “You really don’t get it, do you? You are the kind of guy that all women want, Hal. Seriously. You know how to protect women and you are so damn big and hard all over.” My words were falling off. I forgot what I was saying. I was thinking about it too much.

I couldn’t stop the words before they came out, and I felt like a complete idiot. Why did Hal do that to me? As soon as I started to think about how he was the night before, everything in me stopped. The thoughts made me want him and before too long, I was trembling. I had to hide my reaction. Hal never needed to know that he had that sort of power over me.

That got me a look and he was grinning when our eyes met. That smile made him breathtakingly handsome. He had no idea what he looked like, but he was sexy and made me wonder about more than what the two of us together could do. I was getting hot and bothered just thinking about it.

“You are adorable when you blush.”

I knew that my face was likely pink. I was so worked up from talking to him, I couldn’t help it. The more I tried to focus on what was going on with him, the less I was able to filter my feelings. He made me feel so abnormal. I was a grown woman, but when I was with Hal, I was back to being a teenager.

“I’m not blushing.”

Hal didn’t stop grinning and he got really close. “Good, I was afraid you were thinking about that kiss again and getting all embarrassed.”

I didn’t answer him, but I wanted him to kiss me again. I could feel the tension, all he had to do was lean in, he was so close, but it didn’t happen. I wanted it to happen so badly, but instead, it was left to me to be disappointed when he pulled back. It wasn’t at all what I wanted to happen. I wanted more; my teeth were digging into my bottom lip. Was he going to make me beg?

9

Hal

The drive back out of the city was even longer than the drive in. We had the weirdness of being around each other all day, as well as that kiss in the middle of the night. Both of those things were messing with me, and Marilyn kept complimenting me. It felt weird and when I reminded her of my hideous face, she just waved me off like there was nothing wrong with me. I know that she could see me, so what was she trying to prove? She couldn’t really not see it. I couldn’t look in the mirror or touch my face, without remembering everything. I hated it.

Marilyn tried to start a conversation. She wanted to know how I was doing since I’d been back. We’d caught up some, but the noise helped me to relax. There was something about the way she snuck a look at me every now and then that made me realize I was likely a jerk. She was skittish and I wanted to explain myself. I was volatile because I wanted her. I couldn’t get her off of my mind and the worst part was that I knew it was a horrible idea. I didn’t care though. I think that was the big problem.

Whatever was going on between the two of us, I could see that it could easily go somewhere. I fought with myself back and forth if it was even possible. While every part of me loved the idea of it, I also knew that I was too damaged for her. Before, when I was younger and I’d turned away from her, I didn’t know that it would be such a mistake. Now I knew though, and it was too late. That was just something that I was going to have to come to terms with.

When we got back to Coloma, I asked her if she minded running with me to my place. I had to grab a few things and some numbers out of my home computer. Marilyn agreed and when we got through the door, I thought about what she would think when she came in. The place was messy, and she had always been immaculate. Her attention was to every detail as we went through to the kitchen. I told her I would be right back, hoping she wouldn’t follow me to the bedroom where I was sure it was a mess.

I looked back once, and Marilyn was looking at one of the pictures on the table. She didn’t say anything as I walked off, and I tried to move as fast as I could. Why hadn’t I thought this through? I couldn’t tell her to leave now, without looking like a complete spaz, which I very well may have been looking like that already.

When I got back, she had a heart rock in her hand, rubbing the same place that I’d worn it out and she had a glisten in her eyes. “Why do you have this?”

It was something that I’d carried around with me all over the world. I didn’t think she would ever realize how much she affected me. I would always see Marilyn as the one that I drove away and regretted every second of it. Now she was back in Coloma, back in my life, and I had no idea how to handle it. What was I supposed to say, because I couldn’t tell her the truth.

“You gave it to me a long time ago, remember?” I said casually. I didn’t want this to become a thing.

She nodded her head that she did remember, and I wondered why she was so sad looking. Why was she crying? I had a feeling her emotions ran deep, though I really didn’t know what that meant and in what way did it run deep. “Yeah, I remember. I just can’t believe that you do and that you kept it all this time.”

It was probably a clue to how deep my emotions ran for her. It wasn’t something I wanted her to know all about, but I couldn’t help it. If she looked hard enough, she would find a couple of framed pictures of her, as well as a couple more mementos that I never wanted her to see. I did have an old shirt of hers that was in my drawer. Marilyn didn’t need to know either one of those things.

“You ready to go?” I asked her, trying to get her out of there before she saw something else she wasn’t supposed to see. I tried my best to pretend like I didn’t care about any of it, but I failed miserably by the looks of it.

“You’re not going to give me the tour?” Marilyn asked sweetly. She had something up her sleeve, but I refused her. I needed to get space between us and there were likely timebombs everywhere. I didn’t need her to find the wrong thing.

She pouted. “Fine, let’s go.”

As we were walking out, Marilyn looked back with disappointment. Did she know that there were things to find?

We got back to her place, and she jumped in the shower, coming out smelling like a rose shampoo that I’d noticed in there. Even though we’d dated before, it wasn’t like this intimacy there was now. I knew more about her than any other woman in only a couple of days. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to see her with a robe on, fresh faced. It wasn’t the face that the rest of the world got to see. Marilyn had been different in court, her hair slicked back, makeup dramatic, and a suit on. Now, she was wearing soft, flowing colors, and I was trying my best not to focus on the parts of her that were on display. If she didn’t know that she was showing off, I didn’t want her to find out. Then, she would want to cover it up and I would be sad.

“So, you want to go out and grab something to eat, go play some pool or something? I don’t know if I can sit around tonight. I am feeling like I need to move around after being in that court room all day,” I finally said.

“Sure, any of those things. How about a drink and some pool? Is Teddy still around? I haven’t been on second street, but I figure that his bar is still there.”

“Yeah, it’s still there. They even got the same pool table. Nothing changes here.”

Marilyn scoffed, looked at me, and then she said nothing else. I had an idea where her mind was, but it wasn’t doing me any good to say anything out loud about it. The tension between us was thick and if I wasn’t going to be able to ignore it, I was going to have to figure something else out. We left after getting ready and went to have a drink. I think that seeing her in all her glory wasn’t going to make anything easier. She got decked out in a tight red dress, and I swear she was trying to mess with my head. She looked damn good; it was tight in all the right places.

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