Page 11 of Broken Hearts

She asked me if I was ready, and I said I was underdressed. I wanted to go change, but I just stood there and stared. She finally suggested that we go, reminding me that I was looking at her like an idiot again. “You’re very beautiful tonight, Marilyn. You look so different than moments before.”

She blushed. “Yeah, this makes me look a lot better.”

I disagreed gently but didn’t say anything more. I liked the soft look from moments before when she didn’t care how she looked and effortless was how it came across. Now, I didn’t know what to think.

We got to the place, and it was just as I remembered. I hadn’t been to this bar in a while, maybe years, but it did feel the same. I tried to think about the last time we were here together. Marilyn worked here for a time, and I’d come in to see her. She always had a smile for me. She had the same smile now as she looked at me. I tried to keep it out of my mind, but there really was no reason for me not to think about it. I got flashes of a time not too long ago and it was nice.

“You look like you have something on your mind,” Marilyn commented. Likely, she wanted me to tell her what that was, but I didn’t. It was like most other things, better if I just kept it all to myself.

We got a drink and played a few rounds of pool. She was good, said she got better in college, and I believed it. I didn’t remember her beating me so badly before. I didn’t know what to think of how she looked at me. I had many questions and no answers. It was far more complicated than I wanted it to be. Her lips kept my mind on edge, and I found myself giving that part of her way too much attention. How badly did I want to kiss her again? I knew that it would feel just as it had before. I was a huge proponent of perfection and that’s exactly what it was with Marilyn.

I left myself a few drinks in and she turned to me at one point, and I took it as a sign. I leaned in to kiss her and when she started to kiss me back, I deepened it to see where it could go. It was all just too much for me to deny my feelings any longer. I groaned and pulled her in, taking her halfway off of her chair. That was how badly I wanted her. I didn’t care where we were or who we were in front of. Marilyn was allowing it and pushing me further, so I could do nothing more than match her desire with mine. I really was all worked up.

Marilyn was the one that pulled me out of it. She made a whimpering sound that clawed right through all other thoughts I had. I didn’t know what I was thinking, but there had to be another reason that I couldn’t come up with. I knew then that I was supposed to give her space now. I didn’t want to, but I pulled away and caught the look in her eyes. It was like a knife in my heart, and I couldn’t turn away. She was so beautiful and needy. I was the same, the desire making me think that something crazy, like the two of us together could actually work. I wanted to believe that, but it was impossible too.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

I didn’t know immediately what she meant. “Where?”

She scoffed, and leaned in. “How about back to my place?”

I couldn’t think of a better place, especially for what I had my mind on. She wanted more and I did too. Did this mean what I hoped it meant? Because I wasn’t sure, I needed some assurances.

“Are you positive that you want to leave so soon? We haven’t been able to play very long.”

Marilyn just waved me off like I had no idea what I was talking about, and I guess she was right. I was trying my best to focus on something else, but it was Marilyn, my desire for her, all of that was what kept me in line. “If you want to stay, we can…” Marilyn started.

Immediately, I saw the error of my ways. Taking her back to her place was all that I could think about and if I did anything to jeopardize that, I would never forgive myself.

10

Marilyn

We were on our way to my house to finally be together, something that we had been flirting at for years, when we were pulled over by the police. Hal was speeding a bit because he wanted to get back as quickly as possible, and I wasn’t saying a word because I wanted the same thing. I was anxious to get there too, but that bit of rushing was the reason that it was hours later before I was able to get back to the house.

The police officer looked from one of us to the other and wanted to know why Hal was going so fast. I was hoping that Hal would be cool and say something that would get us a ticket and out of there, but I should have known better. Hal said something about how he was trying to get me home so that we could be together. I couldn’t believe that he had said it, so of course, I go completely red.

“Hal, you didn’t have to say all of that,” I told him quietly under my voice. Hal didn’t seem to care that he was giving away too much. I felt like he would have shouted it from the rooftops if that would have been a possibility. It was nice to know that he liked me as much as I liked him, but it wasn’t helping now. For a moment I thought the cop was just going to let it go, but then Hal had to get smart. That’s how the cop saw it, he was getting lippy, so he was told to get out of the car.

“Why would I do that?”

“Son, I am not going to tell you again. Get out of the car.” The officer’s voice was getting louder, booming through the car. I wanted Hal to just do what he was told, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen.

Hal looked at me and smiled. I didn’t like that look. I’d seen it before, when Hal was going to do something defiant and stupid. He had done it a lot when we were younger, now it felt like he wanted it and was happy to cause chaos. Hal was an interesting guy that was still an enigma after all these years.

“Hal, don’t…”

“Come on, Marilyn, I have to have a little fun. You should get out of here.”

I knew that I couldn’t just drive off, but Hal’s warning was for a reason. He immediately started to talk back to the cops and all I could think was that he was going to get himself shot. I was staring at the scene, trying to figure out what his deal was. What made Hal crave the chaos so much? It wasn’t the first time that I’d seen him just disregard everything that made sense. He was doing it again now, and I had no idea why.

What happened next was pure drama that I didn’t want to be a part of. I did drive off from the scene like he suggested, just because I didn’t want to have anything to do with it. Hal was pushing the line, and he didn’t seem to care. Sometimes, I didn’t understand him at all, but it was like he had nothing to lose.

I wanted us to be together and since he was taken to jail, he never made it back to my place. I thought about going back to get him, but I had no idea what was going on. I didn’t want to be associated with what happened. There was no way that I wanted to have anything to do with it. I just kept wondering, what in the world was he going for?

I called up to the jail the next morning after I’d had some coffee and decided that it was the best cause of action. I knew that it was going to be difficult to figure out what happened to him, without giving away the fact that I had been there with him. I knew that I didn’t want to be associated with it. Hal had attacked the cop, and they had fist fought as I was driving away. I didn’t think that was something I needed to admit.

So, instead I just called up there and asked if he was an inmate. It took the person on the phone a moment to put me on hold and find out if he was or not. I wasn’t all that surprised to find out that he was, in fact, there. I asked what he was being held for and the charges were not surprising.

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