Page 56 of The Orc of Wall Street

“Oh, hey, Tarek,” I say, feeling myself shrinking.

“Are you ready for later?”

I nod. “Yeah. How do you feel? Any nerves or anything?”

He shrugs. “I just hope for the best.”

“I see.”

Silence falls over us. A mosquito is heard flying by. Tarek and I avoid each other’s eyes. I look at the floor’s interesting pattern. He checks the ceiling which has never looked cleaner.

He clears his throat. “Then I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sounds good,” I say.

He walks past me, careful not to even touch my shoulder. It’s a sting to my heart.

I tear my eyes away from him. I’m not going to cry about it. There's really nothing to shed tears for.

I sit on an empty chair by a window, thinking about all of my life choices. How did every one of them lead me to fall for Tarek – and regret everything I’ve done up until now? I guess this is the price to pay for being a thief.

I tap my fingers on the window sill, staring at the clouds. My mind’s empty but at the same time filled with thousands of thoughts. I don’t know which one to focus on.

It all boils down to Tarek, even if I try not to. Although it hurts to even think about it, maybe Tarek and I just weren't meant to be, and I think that’s okay.

No matter what I end up doing, I don’t want to say I didn’t try to repair things. I apologized to Tarek and things just didn’t… happen. I can’t force anything on him. If not being together is best for him then so be it.

But if things continue how they are, is it fine for me to stay? I ask myself.

I don’t want to leave. It’s not only Tarek, but I love everyone else in the company. I’m sure they must be thinking that I’m on my way out. I have to think about how my actions affect everyone else.

With that in mind, the first person I look for is Lewis in his office, and he’s accompanied by Gage. They’re a bit surprised to see me, but they welcome me with a warm smile.

“What’s up? Haven’t seen you lately,” Gage jokes to ease the slight awkwardness.

I smile sheepishly. “I know. These past few days were a little rough.”

Gage and Lewis exchange looks. I don’t doubt they caught wind of what’s been happening with Tarek and me. We’re not so subtle with the discomfort every time we walk past each other.

“Listen,” I start to say, “I just wanted to apologize to you guys for my behavior these past few days.”

Lewis perks up from his usual hunched posture.

“Apologize? Why do you need to apologize?” he asks.

“Because I was distant with everyone. I know I came off as being angry at you all but it really has nothing to do with any of you.”

Gage sits down on the chair closest to Lewis’s desk. He leans against it and shoos off my excuses with a hearty laugh.

“Sloane, please! I mean, we knew something was going on but respected your space. There’s absolutely nothing for you to apologize for.”

Lewis nods in agreement. He adds to the conversation, albeit stuttering through it all.

“You’ve been of great help to everyone. You’re also a great friend. If you’re going through a tough time, you have us to confide in.”

“So, does that mean you forgive me?” I ask softly.

Gage laughs. “Yes, we forgive you, even though there’s really nothing to forgive.” He nudges Lewis, a little too hard. “Right?”

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