Page 35 of Finding Alexei
“Oh my God,” Andi cries, reaching for Ella. “She looks so much bigger.”
Still in a state of shock, I unbuckle the straps and lift Ella out, then hand her to her mother. “She’s been eating well,” I say.
Andi sits down with Ella in her arms, quietly stroking her smooth cheeks and downy hair while tears stream from her eyes.
I think I’m in a state of shock myself. Seeing her in this condition, I find all my unanswered questions start to come into focus. My heart breaks for Ella, for Andi, and for whatever this is that she’s going through. It’s such a tender moment that I don’t dare interrupt, despite all the questions buzzing through my brain.
After several minutes, Andi wipes her cheeks and straightens in her seat. She’s still holding Ella close to her chest, but her gaze is now fixed on mine. “Thank you so much for taking care of her while I was away. I’m sorry for just leaving, but I knew I could trust you to do the right thing. I couldn’t bear to leave her to the system”
I nod, not quite knowing what to say. “Where were you? Is everything . . . okay?”
Andi looks down at her daughter and smiles sadly. There’s a pause before she speaks. “I have cancer. Have had it off and on for about four years now.”
“What? Oh my God, I never knew.” I lean in closer, my eyes wide.
She nods. “I was in remission while we lived together. I hoped I would stay that way. But I have an aggressive form of brain cancer that’s returned. It’s called glioblastoma. The radiation I just had was sort of a last-ditch effort, but my body didn’t respond well to it, so . . .”
She doesn’t say anything else, and I suddenly understand why she left Ella with me—to go and get treatment in the hospital.
“They say I have one to three months left. I’ve been in the hospital because my health is so compromised from the treatments they gave me, but I checked myself out this morning.”
I reach for her hand and she clasps mine tightly, weaving her fingers between mine.
“They want to move me to hospice right way. I told them I’d come back, but I had to get things in order with Ella first.”
I nod, feeling numb.
Andi reaches into her oversized purse and pulls out a stack of paperwork. A check made out in my name is paper-clipped to the pages. It’s for $2,406.12.
She hands me a pen and pushes the stack of papers toward me. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I know you’d take good care of her. I’ve seen how hard you work, the sacrifices you’ve made.”
“I don’t understand. What is all this?”
“Guardianship paperwork. I want to see if you’ll agree to become Ella’s legal guardian so she doesn’t end up a ward of the state.”
“You want me to adopt Ella?” I ask, my mouth suddenly dry. My entire world is spinning out of control right now. I don’t want to say no but at the same time I can barely even pay rent for myself let alone take care of a child. I’m mad and confused and overwhelmed. She can’t be serious. Only I’m pretty sure she is. Her expression is totally somber.
“Yes.”
“There has to be someone else. Your parents?”
Andi shakes her head. She’s an only child, like me, it was something we talked about having in common, but I realize I never heard her mention her parents.
“It’s just my mom. I never knew my father. My mom kicked me out when I was sixteen because I didn’t agree with her lifestyle.”
“Her lifestyle?” I ask, realizing I’m still gripping her hand. I release my hold, and she moves her hand away to stroke Ella’s hair again.
“Drinking. Drugs. A different boyfriend every week. I’ve been on my own since then. Finished high school, got a job. And then, well, you know.” She gestures to herself.
“Maybe she’s changed, gotten herself cleaned up since then,” I say, my voice shaky.
Andi shakes her head. “She hasn’t. She lives in Boca now in some trailer park. I spoke to her on the phone recently. I won’t have Ella raised like that. And I doubt my mom would take her. She never offered to help with any of my medical bills, never came up to take care of me when I was so sick from treatments all the other times.”
That’s awful. My parents aren’t around either, and that’s hard enough, but to know that your mom is still alive and just doesn’t care—that’s almost even more heartbreaking.
“And Ella’s father?” I ask.
Andi looks down. “It was a one-night stand. I don’t even know the guy’s last name, to be honest.”
Wow. This situation has escalated from bad to worse. I look down at the sweet little face I’ve come to love these past couple of weeks, and I know what I have to do.
