Page 10 of Useless Love

Father would never. Would he?

I’m dizzy from contemplating it, and I feel a bit sick. Carmine is in his thirties, and to think of him with my fifteen-year-old sister…

I lean over the railing, thinking I might throw up. When I walked onto the balcony, I thought I might offer Arianna some comfort; I didn’t realize I’d be the one needing it. I want peace between families, but not if it means my sweet innocent baby sister being given to the enemy.

Arianna lays a warm hand on my back. “You know I’m not the best with men. I’m too rough around the edges. So, I’m worried that if Jr. Gaudino doesn’t like me and I can’t convince him to take me as his wife, the Gaudino’s will ask for Victoria. Our innocent baby sister will lay in bed, under a thirty-two-year-old monster, nightly. He won’t be gentle, you know that. All of these types of men are violent.”

I choke back tears. I feel faint.

“Gaia, I have a plan. Will you hear me out?”

I nod, and Arianna tells me all about her thoughts of having us switch places. I’ve learned from Mother that the women in our world get little respect.. Still, a woman can do some things to help her family. Arianna’s plan actually sounds reasonable. She simply wants me to pretend to be her long enough for Carmine to agree to marriage. On the wedding day, we can switch back. I guess at that point, Arianna will just accept being his wife and live with him.

Arianna takes my hands. “Listen, Gaia, this isn’t hard; all you have to do is be yourself.”

I give a tiny smile. “Just be myself, but while impersonating you?”

“We’ve done this twin swap before.”

“Yes, with childish things, like getting extra ice cream or taking quizzes for each other. Not at this level, when our baby sister’s future is at stake.”

“I agree, this is bigger and more important than anything we’ve done before. That's why you have to make Jr. Gaudino fall in love with you.”

As my thoughts are scrambled from trying to figure out how I’d do that, I comment, “We’re born enemies, both burying brothers and soldiers. Why would he be concerned about love? I’m certainly not thinking about that. I don’t even know what he looks like or what kind of man he is. But I’m guessing he’s ruthless and unkind.”

Arianna smacks her hand on the railing. “Jesus fucking Christ, Gaia, all you have to do is act as you always do. You’re meek and submissive. Men love that. Just be yourself and it’s guaranteed he’ll fall in line with the other fools.”

“What fools? What’s that supposed to mean?”

She sighed. “Forget that.Just answer when he says ‘Arianna,’ and be the sweet, vulnerable princess you always are.”

Ignore the sarcasm in her words, I say, “I’m going to speak with Father about this first. If Gaudino learns we deceived them, this can backfire in Father’s face.”

“No. Don’t tell Father. He’s out of ideas. No doubt he understands that the Gaudinos would pick Victoria first, so he’s trying to offer me instead. He loves Victoria and he loves you, so he’s hoping I’m good enough to barter away. But if you tell him, he won’t like that you’re involved and he’ll make you stop. Then, when it’s too late, Victoria would still be given to the Gaudinos. We have to do this on our own and not tell anyone. Father is desperate and he’s willing to go to extremes.”

For all twenty years of my life, I’ve assumed father had everything under control, even with the loss of our three brothers. But Arianna’s words are making me wonder.

She’s not the only one I’ve seen doubting Father lately. Aunt Laura seemed doubtful. My Uncle Agostini kept rubbing his temples the other day at the reception, like he was worried while listening to Father. Even Mother—just a few moments ago she said she didn’t like Father’s plan. Why do they all have such little confidence in my father’s ability? Have I been blind?

“We’re the only ones that will save Victoria,” Arianna says in a weak, defeated voice.

Those words hit the last nail in the coffin, and I drop my shoulders. “Ok, I’ll do it. For Victoria.”

Arianna smiles, looking more hopeful. “Good. Just think of it as helping Father. He would never agree to letting us help, but he needs it. It’s very important that he doesn’t know about the swap until after the wedding. I’m confident he will see why it was better that you courted Jr. Gaudino.”

I cross my arms, still feeling sick and uncomfortable about all of this. “You better be telling me the full story, Ari. You’ve made me question Father’s plan, but even you have to admit it’s not totally insane. Marrying into the Gaudino family will be hard. How you’ll stomach that, I don’t know. But, the result is peace for everyone. I think he picked you because he knows you’re the strongest and the only one who can handle being a Gaudino.”

Arianna turns away to gaze out at the skyline. “You’re wrong. I’m being tossed out like trash.”

I try to touch her, but she shakes her shoulder, brushing me off. I can tell she wants to be alone. Since I’m no longer worried she’ll fling herself over the railing, I leave the balcony.

Later that night, I’m fighting the urge to tell Mother about the plan because I usually tell her everything. Something doesn’t feel right and I need her advice.

After dinner, I follow Mother into the living room to chat privately, but Victoria quickly joins us. The three of us end up turning on the TVand using a show for some background noise.

"It's just us six now," Mother says absentmindedly to the air.

Victoria and I make eye contact.

---