Page 85 of Useless Love

"Arianna, have a bite with me," she says simply.

There's no escape, so I follow her to the kitchen. She brought home take out from a local Chinese restaurant. Pulling out a chair, I say, "This looks good. Thanks."

We both dig in until she speaks. "Your father told me about your plan to kill Carmine Gaudino."

Seems Father didn’t tell her about my sexual explorations. He is still keeping her in the dark about that stuff.

“Yeah. What of it? The monster is part of the family who killed Luca and—”

"He is dead. They are all dead." Tears began streaming down her face. "You can't really believe you loved them more than me, can you? We all loved them dearly. I gave birth to them and knew them long before you were born." She swallows and wipes her eyes. "I want peace because I am so very exhausted from losing my children. Why are you trying to make me lose all of you?"

I remain silent. I'm not foolish enough to believe I loved them more than Mother. It just…hurts. Every day I wake up missing Luca and my brothers. Why did they have to die? Maybe it should have been me…

"I met Claudia Gaudino,” Mother continues, “and she shook my hand even though we killed six of her sons. One day, you'll become one of us, so you need to learn to forgive."

“Become what?”

"A mother. Then you will truly understand the pain of loss, and of losing children that are still alive.” She stares at me so intensely I have to look away. “I don’t even know who you are anymore. Yet I still love you.”

I shake my head. You don’t. You’ve always loved my sisters more.

With a sigh, Mother adds, “Why don’t you understand the reason for this peace. Before this arranged marriage, your father would have strapped a bomb to himself and killed all of them, but Nico is young and not ready yet. He needs time to become the Bencivenga leader. An ongoing war could...." She stops, unable to even talk of Nico dying.

I hadn’t thought of that…If the war continued and Father somehow got killed, our family wouldn’t survive because Nico definitely doesn't have the skills yet.

“This allegiance is a strategy,” she says. “Your father has finally helped me understand that. By joining with the Gaudinos, if something happens, Carmine can help Nico. We are strengthening our family by becoming family with our enemies. It seems Carmine has grown on your father, so that’s why he doesn’t want to entertain any more thoughts of taking out the Gaudinos.”

I shake my head. I hate this, but what can I do? And there’s still a flaw in this plan. “And you think peace is going to last once Carmine learns the truth? That we’ve all been deceiving him about which twin he’s marrying?”

Mother sighs and stares at the table. “That’s a situation you got us in, but I have faith it will all work out. Gaia is in love, and Carmine is a good man.” She smiles. "I know it’s hard to believe, but your father and I were married under similar circumstances. Bencivenga senior wiped out most of my family. Your father and I were married by my uncle to ensure he didn't take revenge. Well, actually, he was to marry my uncle's daughter, but she had a little accident, and I took her place."

I watch Mother carefully. Accident? Based on her sly smile, if I didn't know any better, I would suspect she made it happen.

She sips some of her wine. "The men start wars and then use women to achieve peace. It's the oldest tactic used amongst all organizations. The sooner you accept that, the sooner your pain will end."

I excuse myself and go to my room. I’ll never accept my brothers dying, but some of what Mother said made sense: we can’t afford a war that would harm Father. We all still need him to survive. I guess revenge will have to wait. The funny thing is, though, that it may be my sister that brings war to us all.

Carmine is going to be pissed when he finds out the truth. And pissed men always make terrible decisions.

Gaia

Yesterday, after Carmine and I returned from the beach, we told Carla and Mrs. Gaudino the news. They were shocked for only a moment before they leapt into action, finding me a dazzling dress and some flowers. Now, I’m in a stunning, lacy white dress, and Carmine is holding my hand looking as handsome as ever in a tux. He’s leading me into the building where we will get married in a few short moments. Carla and Mrs. Gaudino are following close behind, quietly taking pictures for us.

As we enter the office, a man in slacks and a white button down greets us. “Welcome.”

“Are you Mr. Stern?” Carmine inquires.

“Yes. I’ve spoken to Mr. Bencivenga. If you two would follow me this way.” He leads us down a hallway to a small room with a flower arch setup and a few chairs. There’s an officiant waiting under the arch, smiling at us.

Mr. Stern shows Carla and Mrs. Gaudino where to sit, then turns to us. “Mr. Bencivenga requested we arrange just a small ceremony. He thought you might enjoy it.”

My heart flutters with joy as a violinist appears and starts playing. I cling to Carmine's hand as he smiles down at me. This is wonderful, but I hope everything goes smoothly. I will lose too much if it doesn't. Still, one glance at my future husband gives me all the courage I need.

I won’t lose him!

Looking at me, Mr. Stern states, “All the paperwork has been filled out. I just need your IDs.”

I’m pulling my ID from my purse, thankful that father took care of the details so we didn't have to fill out paperwork together and risk Carmine seeing my real name, when Carmine asks, “Can I review the paperwork? I want to make sure everything is correct.”

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