Page 1 of Useless Love

CHAPTER 1 — BENCIVENGA

Gaia

Mother is screaming.

Out of all the possible reasons for her terror, there’s only one that could make her scream that loud.

I press the emergency stop on the treadmill, then run towards my mother’s screams. Her cries lead me down the hallway to my father’s office. Heart pounding, sneakers smacking the tiled floor, I can already guess what she’s screaming about—I’ve heard that scream too many times. And the fact that it’s coming from my father’s office, where his “business” is usually conducted, gives me a sinking feeling that my deepest fears are about to come true. If only my father’s business were a normal one, not the organizational type of business that has caused my mother to bury two sons, both of which worked alongside my father.

Mother’s current cries of distress can only mean a third son will need to be buried.

Another one of my brothers is gone.

“Luca!” I hear from the door.

I walk in to see my mother barely holding herself up by my father's desk.

“He’s gone,” father says, something he has probably repeated multiple times, trying to break through my mother’s grief. He has a stoic look in his eyes; his hands are clenched in fists, pressing into the side of his gray suit jacket.

“Noooooo, no, no, no.” Mother wilts to the ground, her face streaked with tears and pieces of her dark hair slipping from her bun.

As I watch my mother, a lump forming in my throat, a million questions race through my mind. Who did this? Did my brother suffer? Was it the damn Gaudinos again? Why? Why? When will the battle between both organizations end?

The shrill ringtone of my father’s phone breaks the atmosphere, and I flinch. My father’s pained expression vanishes as he notices me and shuts off his grief and emotions. The level-headed, cold-blooded mask slides into place.

“Gaia, come in,” he orders. “Take your mother from my office and help her.”

I don’t move because my body is frozen. Luca is gone and I can’t yet grasp that I’ll never see him again. How many more of our family are going to die? The lump in my throat is growing, my legs heavy and rooted in the doorway. I doubt I’ll be any help to my mother in this state. I touch my forehead, my head swimming. I’m a bit faint. I think I’m seconds away from passing out; everyone knows I’m not the strong sister.

Father answers the phone as Nico and Victoria walk past me into the office. “Hold on!” Father says sharply to the person on the other line, his tone curt. He glances toward the doorway at his guard. “, ”Ralph, where is Arianna? Get her in here immediately.”

Victoria, my little sister, places a soft hand on my shoulder and I’m finally able to move. With Nico’s help, we lift Mother from the floor. Victoria and I move her out and away from the office.

Behind me, I hear my brother, Nico, ask Father, “What should I do?”

“Sit.” Father sternly orders him before resuming his phone call.

“Fucking Gaudino bastards,” Nico spits.

So it was a Gaudino that killed Luca. I want to ask for details, but I also don’t. I don’t think I can handle knowing how he died yet—it’s hard enough just knowing he’s gone.

Mother is nearly impossible to console, so instead of trying, Victoria, Mother, and I sit in another room where we won’t be a distraction to Father as he makes his revenge plans. We hold each other and sob.

Father is probably thinking of taking out Sal Gaudino's two sons. My father's rule when engaging with his enemy is: if a man hits you once, you must kill twice as many to make him afraid to do it again. The result is simply more death—that’s all this life is about.

As I choke on my cries, I hear Father’s faint voice through the walls—he’s erupting again, yelling and pounding his fist on his desk. Tonight’s events feel like Déjà vu: first comes the news about the death of my brother, followed by my father and his remaining sons carefully plotting their next move. I know they will stay in Father’s office until their plan is accomplished. After that, it’s only a matter of waiting for the other organization to make a move.

The three of us stay in that room and cry for hours until our eyes are dry. After finding me, Victoria, and Mother close to midnight, my twin sister Arianna takes Mother away. I decide to linger and look for my father. He has likely finished his plans by now, and I really need to see him.

As I enter his office, Father is sitting in his large leather chair with his back to the door, head hung. His gray suit, once ironed and crisp, is now wrinkled and worn. I try to be as quiet as possible as I fiddle with the waistband of my leggings, yet he still feels my presence hovering at the door.

“Princess, come in.”

I enter his office, and walk towards his chair. He raises his face to study mine, his eyes sunken in shadows of defeat.

I place a gentle hand on his shoulder, and say, “Remember never to let your head hang low.” It’s something he told me when my first brother was killed. Of all the soothing and compassionate words he could have said, those were the words he chose. I believe he needs to hear them now.

Father—the head of the entire Bencivenga organization—only gazes at me in response, his eyes misty and bloodshot. But Father never cries—he threatens his tears about the consequences of falling. Clearing his throat, he says, “First Franco, then Diego. Now Luca. This shit needs to fucking stop before I start planting bombs everywhere in this damn city.”

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