“What?” She sent me a disgusted look. “No. That’s creepy. Just because you’re supermodel-pretty, all long legs and cute butt, and your waistline looks as if calories turn to dust the moment food hits your tongue, doesn’t give old dudes the right to leer at you.”
I rubbed two fingers to my forehead. “First of all, I hardly ever have an appetite, thanks to my emotional trauma, so that is nothing to be jealous about. Secondly, your boobs are bigger than mine. Third…you’re perfect the way you are. Stop comparing.”
Tara pursed her lips, sighing through her nose, then glanced at my chest. “I guess my boobs are a little bigger.” Her gaze darted back up. “Are you a virgin?”
My neck heated, the flush traveling to my collarbone. “No.”
“Oh, shit. I totally thought you were.” Her eyes popped, her pace slowing. “How many guys have you been with?”
“A few.”
“Like, a few-few, or a few dozen?”
“Just a few. And I’ve fooled around a little.” I wasn’t proud of it. I’d lost my virginity just shy of my fifteenth birthday in a desperate attempt at finding companionship and connection. An escape from my mother’s cold shoulder and my father’s hard-knuckled fists. “It’s not a big deal. I’d rather be in a relationship than have meaningless sex.”
“I’m thinking about having sex with Josh.”
“Do you really like him?”
She popped a shoulder. “Yeah. It feels right.” Off my silence, she added, “I wonder if my mom is seeing anyone.”
I blinked at her as we turned a corner. “Does she go on dates?”
“I don’t think so. All she does is work, work, work,” she said. “I’m wondering if she’s still hung up on my dad. She made a comment the other day.”
The air whooshed out of my lungs and I had to hide my reaction with a cough. “What comment?”
“She mentioned how she missed having him around.”
“Well, mowing the lawn sucks when you’re the only one doing it. Maybe that’s what she meant. And there’s so much laundry. I can hardly keep up.”
Tara snorted through a laugh and a side-eye. “Valid. But this was after I caught them being all cozy in the kitchen, doing the dishes together. And he’s been coming over to the house more and more lately.” Tara pulled a pack of gum from her pocket and plucked out a piece. “Mom is lonely, so maybe they can work it out. Everything’s been really good between the three of us, but they have history—and if there are still feelings there, why not? Life’s too short to wallow in the past.”
I tried not to choke.
Tara wanted her parents back together?
Does Whitney want that, too?
That was a bomb I wasn’t competent enough to keep from detonating in my face once I tried to defuse it. Scratching at my cheek, I fumbled for a reply but came up empty. Guilt sawed through my bones. Stomped all over my heart with steel-toed boots.
If Tara ever found out that I’d had an intimate encounter with her father—and failed to tell her about it—she’d write me off for good. And she was like a sister to me.
As we skipped down the crowded mall aisle in silence, something caught my attention in a passing store window, causing my breath to catch. My heart did a little pirouette inside my chest and I came to a stop.
Tara followed my stare. “Those look expensive.”
“I’m going to take a look. Want to come with?”
“Too many buttons. I’m not good with technology.” Her nose wrinkled. “But I know you’ve been interested in photography lately, so take your time. I’ll be in the nail polish section.”
Pulling away from her, I started walking toward the camera store. “I’ll meet you over there in a few minutes. I won’t be long.”
My pulse thrummed as the sea of electronics glittered through the glass window, beckoning me forward. And it wasn’t the cameras themselves, per se—after all, I wasn’t great with technology either. It was the possibilities. The art I could create, the moments I could capture.
I felt a dream unfolding.
Winding my way through the entrance, I scurried over to the far wall showcasing dozens of different film cameras, ranging in price from the upper one-hundreds to over one-thousand dollars. I sighed, knowing I wouldn’t be able to afford a nice camera until I had a regular income flowing in. In the meantime, I’d have to continue making use of the photo lab and dark room at school, along with the convenience store cameras.