“I’m sure.” There was something else I needed to do tonight.
“Okie dokie. I’ll probably stay the night at Amanda’s.”
“Be sure to check in,” Whitney called out as Tara skipped away with a wave.
“Can’t wait for dinner with Dad tomorrow night.” Pausing at the patio door, she waggled her eyebrows at her mother. “But I’ll head to bed early so you two can have some alone time.”
Whitney blushed, and Tara disappeared into the house.
I covered my face with my lemonade glass, hiding my own flushed cheeks.
Breathing out an embarrassed laugh, Whitney sat down in the chair Tara had been sitting in. “Sorry. She has it in her head that her father and I are going to reconnect or something.”
Chugging the rest of the lemonade, I almost choked on an ice cube. “Are you?” I squeaked out.
“No. That ship has sailed.”
“How come?”
“Long story. I messed up.” A look washed over her face. Something like sadness. “And then I lost him.”
“Lost things don’t have to stay lost forever. They can be found.” I wanted to believe that. Maybe I just wanted to believe that I could be found.
“Sometimes that’s true. But I betrayed his trust. And when you lose something in the wake of betrayal, it’s like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. No matter how hard you try, it slips through the cracks, leaving you with nothing but a bitter aftertaste,” she said. “And that tastes an awful lot like regret.”
My insides pitched. “Regret is a heavy burden.”
“It is,” she murmured, her gaze distant. “And the worst part is realizing that the only person who can lift that burden is the one you let slip away.”
I could almost taste the smoke; that same bitter aftertaste that tainted her words. “What happened?”
While I’d become closer with Tara’s mother over the past few months, we hadn’t ventured into this dangerous territory before. Tara had hinted at a yearning for her parents to make amends, but I never wanted to pry. Plus, it hurt. It hurt knowing that I had these stupid, bottled-up feelings for a man twice my age.
For a man my best friend desperately wanted to see rekindle a relationship with her mother.
I felt like a traitor.
An awful backstabber.
Tara and her mom had taken me in, given me safety, love, and family, and here I was, pining over the only man in the world I couldn’t have.
Whitney ran her fingers through her ponytail as she leaned back in the lawn chair. “If I tell you, you’ll think I’m a horrible person.”
No worse than I am.
“I’d never think that.” I swallowed. “You’re like a mother to me.”
She smiled warmly, her brown eyes glittering against the starlight. And then her smile slipped, replaced by the remnants of her regret. “I slept with his brother.”
My mouth fell open. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” She pressed her lips together in a thin line, nodding slowly. “I was young and stupid. It’s no excuse, of course, and I was older than you and Tara are now, but I was definitely stupid. I was a lot like Tara, thinking the best moments were always right around the corner. I didn’t appreciate what I already had.”
“That’s…” I exhaled a long breath, setting aside my empty glass. “I’m sorry.”
“You shouldn’t be. I learned my lesson the hard way.” She glanced at me. “Which I think is the only way we ever truly learn a lesson, right? It has to hurt.”
“Do you, um…still have feelings for him?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer, but my curious heart stole my voice.