Page 54 of The Thief

His gaze lowered, and he inched away. “Remember those boys in my pack I told you about?”

I nodded.

Bear cleared his throat. “I used to run the kitchen. That was my job. But they couldn’t let me have that one thing, so they made up a bullshit story and got me fired. I was madder than hell and confronted them in our storage building.” Bear scoffed. “Confronted isn’t the right word. I beat their asses. One of them slammed a shovel against the back of my head. Someone yelled, ‘Kill him,’ and I shifted. Not to heal but to attack. My wolf went after the guy with the shovel and ripped his throat out. He died.”

I sucked in a breath. “How old were you?”

“We were all the same age—twenty. One of them hadn’t gone through his first change yet, but he wasn’t the one I killed.”

Murdering a packmate was a serious offense.

“It wasn’t unprovoked. You were defending yourself,” I pointed out.

“But I instigated it. I let my temper affect my wolf. The guy’s family wanted retribution—a life for a life. My Packmaster couldn’t justify it since all he saw was a bunch of young wolves who got out of control. He threw me out of the pack, but before he did, I had to be punished. It was the only way the parents would let it go. They put a thick collar around my neck so I couldn’t shift and whipped me. I was chained to a tree and left there for days without food until the wounds scarred. The kids stared and threw rocks. My packmates spat on me. Most pretended I didn’t exist.”

What could I say to that? There were no words. My heart broke when I imagined him chained and beaten while the people he loved ignored his existence.

I touched his soft lips, unable to imagine the guilt he carried. A Shifter can’t always control their animal after the first change. It takes time to build up a trusting relationship, and if we don’t learn how to control our emotions, our animal will react out of fear.

“My father watched the whole thing without a word,” Bear continued. “I shamed him in front of the pack. He stayed with that pack, and I’m sure they still talk about me.”

When I kissed his neck, he ran his fingers through my hair.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered.

I drew back. “You’ve atoned for your sins, Bear. You were a young wolf and made a terrible mistake, one I know you regret. But it wasn’t you who killed your packmate; it was your wolf. He was protecting you. If you didn’t feel guilty, I might wonder about the kind of man you are. But you have a precious heart,” I said, putting my hand over his chest. “Forgive yourself.”

Pain glimmered in his dark eyes.

“I want to know the good and the bad.” My fingers curled into a fist. “I just wish I could give you the same. My life is incomplete.”

He stroked my cheek with the pad of his thumb. “This is all I need to know. Right here. Right now. Whoever you were isn’t who you are.”

When Bear turned onto his back, I tucked myself against him, my head on his shoulder, my arm draped over his broad chest, my leg twisted around his.

“You don’t make any sense,” I finally said. “You’re more self-conscious about your sexy hair than you are the scars.”

He stroked my hand. “I deserve the scars, but I spent years being ridiculed for something I couldn’t help. That screws with a kid’s mind. Maybe I don’t want to relive it all over again now that I’m pack chef. I can’t lose this position. I won’t.”

“No one here would ever make fun of you. I wouldn’t let them. And I sure wouldn’t let anyone steal your job from you.”

Bear had always come across as a gentle man, but now that I knew about his early years, it was obvious that he was being overly cautious, afraid that high emotions might anger his wolf. Living in a pack again must have been triggering so many old memories for him—good and bad.

I laced my fingers with his. “If anyone laughed at you, they’d have to answer to me. When it comes to people I care about, I’m loyal.”

That statement made me wonder because it came out of nowhere. Had I ever felt anything for Argento? I couldn’t imagine swearing fealty to a demented narcissist, so I must have liked him. Maybe he’d shown compassion by taking me under his wing. Maybe he’d showered me with praise I’d never had as a child. I must have been so naïve.

Here I was, getting emotionally attached to a man when there was a strong possibility I might be thrown out of the pack. Was it fair to make him choose between living in a pack that accepted him or leaving with a woman he barely knew? Especially a compulsive thief? This felt better than anything I could have imagined. But what if Argento killed me? What if he followed through with his threat to ruin my life? Or worse, went after Bear?

“You got quiet.” Bear stroked his fingers against my nape.

“Maybe I’m jumping in with both feet,” I said, deciding I had rushed into this before thinking it through. “If I really am a criminal, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to keep it a secret. Argento might report me or tell my former clients. If he doesn’t get what he wants, he might involve Tak and extort money from the pack. You shouldn’t get mixed up with a girl like me. You could do better.”

Bear rolled on top of me, and my tummy did a flip. “You’re a good woman, Mercy Breedlove. If you don’t want me, that’s one thing. But if you do, I’d be a fool to let you go. Whatever’s going on with that Mage, we’ll figure it out together.” He stroked my hair, but all I could feel was the enormity of his promise. “Let’s keep it between us for now since the Packmaster’s gone. I don’t want everyone gossiping about our business.”

“My business.”

“Our business,” he reiterated. “Now, let’s cuddle until you fall asleep. Don’t be scared if you wake up and my wolf is in here.”

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