Page 113 of Truth

Not caring what the dirt and grass would do to my jeans, I knelt down and touched the ground. She was gone, and I missed her. I missed her so much. She’d always been able to make things better. Even when she’d been sick, she’d always tried to make me laugh. Stephan’s arms wrapped around me from behind as I sat there and cried, mourning my mother.

When I finally wiped the tears from my eyes and looked up, the sun was beginning to go down. “Thank you.” I wasn’t sure who I was saying it to, my mother or Stephan. Either way, neither of them answered me.

Turning, I circled my arms around Stephan’s neck. “I love you.” Whatever happened, I wanted him to know that.

“I love you, too, sweetheart. Are you ready to go?”

I nodded, and he helped me to stand. I didn’t want to leave my mom, but I knew I had to. My life wasn’t here anymore.

Stephan stopped at a drive-thru on the way back to the airport, insisting that I had to eat something. I was surprised to realize I was hungry, and I ate everything he’d ordered for me.

I fell asleep on the plane ride home. Stephan coaxed me awake once we’d landed back in Minneapolis. As always, the warmth of his lips on mine brought a feeling of comfort mixed with an electric charge. “We’re home. Did you have a nice nap?”

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

He chuckled, all traces of the anxiety I’d seen from him earlier in the day gone. The flying part was over, and he was back to himself. “You had a trying day. You deserved some rest. Plus, you didn’t sleep well last night.”

I glanced down, not wanting to talk about my shortcomings. It was only a constant reminder of what I could never be.

“I need you to talk to me, love. Remember what I said about communication?”

As much as I wanted to forget about the previous day, I knew he wouldn’t let me continue to avoid talking about it. The last thing I wanted to do, however, was point out what had become clear to me. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to give him up yet.

“I don’t... I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me how you’re feeling.”

The pilot emerged from the cockpit, breaking up our conversation, but I knew Stephan wouldn’t let it go for long. He thanked the pilot, and we walked back to where we’d parked his car. The drive home was quiet, but I knew that would change once we were inside the condo.

“Come,” he said as soon as the door was secure behind us.

He walked over to his chair, and I obediently followed.

Once I was seated on his lap in my favorite position, he took my hand and threaded our fingers together. “Now tell me how yesterday made you feel.”

“I felt... I felt like I was back there.”

“Logan spanking Lily is what triggered it?”

I nodded.

“Oh, Brianna. I wish I could take all those bad things away from you.”

Not knowing what to say, I clung to him. I wished he could take them all away, too, but he couldn’t. I was broken, and I knew it. There was nothing he could do to change that. There wasn’t anything anyone could do.

“We won’t do that again, all right? We’ll just keep things between you and me, no one else.”

I liked the thought of that. With Stephan, I felt safe. But for how long would he be content with that? How long until he wanted more again?

Since it was late, we went ahead and took our shower before getting into bed. He held me the same way he had the previous night, and I cherished every moment.

Chapter Thirty

Stephan

I woke up early. It was a rough night—for me anyway. Brianna had slept soundly even though she’d had a good two-hour nap on the flight back to Minneapolis. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that she was keeping something from me. I had no idea what it was, however. Then again, I could have been imagining things. My guilt over what had happened on Saturday hadn’t faded. Perhaps it was clouding my judgment.

Careful not to wake her, I tiptoed out of the bedroom to go get her gifts. I’d hidden the laptop in my briefcase and then secured it in one of the locked drawers upstairs. With it, I’d purchased a first edition of Jane Eyre for her. I’d been surfing online at the office for something else to get her, and an ad had come up for rare books. Once the idea had taken hold, I hadn’t been able to shake it. Jane Eyre was one of her favorites, and I knew she would love it.

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