Some of the other guests sitting at the table with us had tried to talk to me during dinner, but I really didn’t know what to say. I knew they were curious about me, just like the reporter, but it wasn’t something Stephan and I had discussed. He wanted me to be his submissive, that was clear to me, but what I was to be to him in public was a mystery.
The servers had just come to remove the dessert plates from the table when, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that a few people were beginning to get up and move around. I wondered if that meant we would once again be getting up to mingle. As I turned slightly in my chair to face Stephan, I noticed his posture had stiffened and I immediately went on alert. Something was wrong.
Stephan’s eyes were locked on something on the other side of the room. Every muscle in my body wanted to get up and run. Or hide under the table, at least. I knew that if he was anxious, then I should be as well.
Somehow, my thoughts had gotten the better of me, and I must have lost my focus. I felt strong hands on either side of my face. His warm breath was at my ear. “Calm down, Brianna. Everything is fine,” he soothed.
I closed my eyes and concentrated on him. His warm body was so close to mine. It felt nice.
My eyelashes fluttered back open, and I found his heated gaze upon me. I’d seen that look before from him, but never in public. It was the look he had so many times when we were sitting in his chair after a long and involved talk. Although, I hadn’t comprehended the look for what it was in the past, I was beginning to understand it. He wanted me. Not just sexually, but in every way.
It should have frightened me. It did frighten me, but this was Stephan. I trusted him more than I had ever trusted another person.
We sat frozen in that position for what seemed like hours. It was Emily walking behind the microphone again that broke the spell, or whatever it was, between us.
For a very long time, everyone sat at the large round tables and listened to a man by the name of Robert Carmichael. He talked about the hospital, and what had happened over the last year. I tried my best to follow what he was saying in case Stephan wanted to talk about it afterward, but it was rather hard to follow when he started talking about statistics I didn’t understand. Finally, Mr. Carmichael took his seat and a group of musicians gathered in the far corner.
There was movement all around us, and I noticed that Stephan was anxious again. His eyes were searching the room. It was obvious there was someone here he did not want to talk to, or maybe he didn’t want them to see him at all. Or was it... me? I had no way of knowing.
Stephan turned to me and took hold of my hands. “Do you need anything? Lily is coming this way and she can escort you to the ladies’ room if you wish?”
I thought about it for a moment. Since I had no idea how long we would be staying, I nodded. “Yes. I would like that.”
Just then, Lily appeared between us. “Wasn’t the food just delicious? Oh, Brianna! You look beautiful. That dress is perfect. Isn’t it perfect, Stephan?” She beamed.
“Good evening, Lily,” Stephan smiled. When he looked back at me, it was with an intensity that made me a little nervous. “Yes. Brianna is breathtaking in her dress.” He paused and turned back to Lily. “You have amazing taste. Thank you.”
I looked up at Lily then. She was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. “You shouldn’t doubt me,” she said with a sly smile on her face.
“Never,” he said with a smile of his own. I knew they’d had a friendship and some kind of a history, but I didn’t like the feeling I got in my chest when I saw them talking like this. It was the same feeling I’d gotten when I saw them holding hands in the living room.
Before I could dwell on my thoughts any longer, Stephan asked Lily if she would mind escorting me to the ladies’ room. She agreed with a level of excitement that didn’t fit the situation.
I stood, not really wanting to leave him, but knowing that I should. He reached out and brushed his fingers against my arm, sending little prickles across my skin where he’d touched. Then the next thing I knew, Lily’s hand was in mine and we were weaving through tables.
The bathroom was tucked into a corner not far from where we’d entered the big ballroom. It was huge. All the walls had a very subtle design on them. There were fresh flowers on the counters. It looked more like a private bathroom in someone’s home rather than something you’d find in public.
Lily gave me instructions to wait for her just outside the entrance when I was done, before she disappeared into a stall. There were a few other women there but I didn’t know any of them, so I found an open door and quickly shut it behind me.
It didn’t take me long, and it didn’t feel right to linger around the sinks waiting for Lily, so I did as she instructed and walked out to wait in the hallway. There were people out there, too, but none of them seemed to notice me, which, in my book, was a good thing. I didn’t like it when people stared at me.
As I stood there waiting, I started to think again about Stephan. I couldn’t explain, even to myself, how I felt when I was near him. Or when I wasn’t near him, for that matter. Like now, all I wanted to do was see him. Touch him. Have him touch me.
It made no sense. Why did I feel this way? What did it mean?
Then there was my fear of all those same things. I knew he wanted to do things to me. Even though I knew that would include sex—which scared me on a level all its own—I also knew there would be more to it than that. How much more I didn’t know, but more.
I felt like I must be insane to even consider giving him what he wanted. However, I’d tried more than once to imagine leaving him, and I couldn’t. And although the thought of him doing those same things to me made me want to cry, what Ian had done to me had not killed me. I’d survived. It couldn’t be worse, could it?
Moisture began pooling in my eyes. I tried to will the tears away. It would not look good if I returned to him like this. He’d know I’d been crying. I didn’t want to have to explain why.
I briefly wondered where Lily was, but I knew I hadn’t missed her and she wouldn’t have gone back to the table without me. Suddenly, I felt hands grab my arms. I could feel the aggression in them, and I froze. Air rushed past my ears as I was pulled around a corner and then pushed up against a wall.
When I looked up, I saw the same man who had been in Lily’s office. Karl.
Karl was dressed in a tuxedo just like Stephan. The look on his face was anything but friendly. He wore what could be considered a smile, but was more like a sneer. His body leaned into mine. I tried to stay perfectly still.
Hot breath hit my face as he closed all polite space between us. “Finally, I get you alone. I’ve been waiting all night for just the right moment.”