Page 12 of She's Mine

She wraps me in arms that make me feel like a monster. And all I can do is hug her back as tight as I can. I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want to lie to my best friend. It’s not worth it.

We part ways and I am immediately on the phone to Bear. It’s late and I don’t even know if he’s back home yet. What if I call him and he picks up and gets distracted by our phone call and wrecks? Then I’ve not only made out with Kat’s brother, I caused his death too!

“Hey honeybee. You okay?”

“Are you driving? Are you hands-free? Are you paying attention to the road?”

“Babe, I just pulled in when you called me. What’s going on? Do you need me to come get you or something?”

“Bear…I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

A long pause fills the space between us making my hands grow all sweaty and my heart beat faster.

“Kat caught you coming in.”

It’s not said as a question so I don’t try to play it off like it is one.

“Yeah.”“And you got…scared she’ll find out?”

“She was so happy for me when she saw the hickey you put on my neck. She hugged me. I tell her everything and now I can’t say a word to her. It feels wrong. It’s not who I am and I don’t think I can be this way.”

“Okay, sweetheart, let’s just take a few deep breaths and talk this thing through.”

I flop on the bed and try to mimic his breathing I can hear on the other side of the phone call.

“There is nothing bad about what we are doing. We might not want to tell Kat just yet, but that doesn’t mean when it’s all said and done we won’t tell her. And all of us will get a big kick out of it. We are just two friends helping one another out.”

“How am I helping you? I’m not helping. I’m not doing anything good.” That’s the part I hit on, the part that sticks out in my mind. I’m not giving, I’m only taking.

“Baby, you know I love how you smell. You’re making me happy by letting me be close to you and touch you. That’s what you’re doing for me.”

“Oh.” I lick my dry lips and try to follow along, “Okay.”

“We’re just friends, doing for one another. Right?”

“Um…I guess. Sure.”

“It’s not going to be for long either. What, a week, two at most?”

“I guess.” I feel myself settle just like I did before.

“We can tell Kat, as soon as it’s all over.”

“The minute it’s done?”

“The very second if you want. I’ll tell her myself, so you don’t have to.”

“Are you sure?”

“If I felt like Kat could be hurt, would I do it? Would I hurt my baby sister?”

I don’t know Bear very well, but I do know what kind of man he is. And he wouldn’t hurt someone on purpose - especially not his family. “No. You wouldn’t hurt Kat.”

But what about me? Would he hurt me? Not on purpose, but…what if I get too attached just like Paul was afraid I would do with him?

“So, we don’t have very long, let’s do something to further your education and help me learn more about you.”

What the hell can we do to ‘further’ stuff? Over the phone?

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