Page 125 of Redeeming 6

“I need to be alone right now, Joe,” I managed to choke out, trying and failing to break free of his hold. “I can’t be with—”

“I know what you want to say, but don’t, just… Please keep it inside you,” he begged, imploring me with his eyes to hear him. “Don’t say it out loud. Not tonight, okay? Just…not tonight. Because if you say it out loud, then it becomes real, and I can’t let it be real, Molloy, okay? I can’t lose you.”

I looked away and then I looked back at him. He was rigid, watching me with fearful eyes. I tried to say the words that would make him feel better, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t comfort him right now. I felt too damn broken.

“I need time,” I finally whispered. “Some space to clear my head.”

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

“I know you are, Joe,” I croaked out, feeling devastated. “I know, okay? I just…” Sniffling, I shrugged helplessly. “I need to not be near you right now, okay?”

“Aoife.”

“Because every time I look at you, all I can see is—”

“Him,” he deadpanned, immediately releasing his hold on me. “Got it.” Nodding stiffly, he backed up to the gate, looking more crushed and broken than I’d ever seen him. “I hear ya, Molloy.”

And then he turned around and walked away.

Unable to watch him leave, I hurried into my house. Slamming the door shut behind me, I heaved out a huge, gut-wrenching sob and collapsed in a heap on the floor.

“Aoife?” Mam’s head popped around the living room door, and then she was there, on her knees with her arms around my body. “Did you tell him?”

Breath catching in my throat, I heaved out another pained sob and shook my head. “I c-couldn’t.”

“It’s okay, pet,” Mam soothed, wrapping me up in her arms just like she did when I was small. “Everything is going to be just fine. We’ll figure it all out.”

43

Bitter Disappointment

JOEY

I thought the worst image I could see today was that of my mother cradling her premature, underdeveloped baby, followed closely by the screaming and keening and begging that had incurred when it was time to leave him behind at the hospital. It had taken me hours to get her to leave him. I thought that was the worst of it. The worst that could possibly happen.

I was wrong.

Walking into the kitchen tonight and seeing my father with his hands on my girlfriend—with her bent over the table like a fucking dog, with her underwear around her ankles and his jeans undone—was worse.

So much fucking worse.

Trembling violently in the passenger seat of the car, Molloy had refused point-blank to look at me as she wrapped her arms around herself, knees bopping restlessly.

“Get me the fuck away from these people, Joey.”

It didn’t take a genius to decipher that she included me in that sentiment. She couldn’t bear to look at me, and I didn’t fucking blame her one bit.

Jesus Christ.

It had finally happened. The bullshit that was my life had finally broken her. The look in her eyes? Fuck, she had looked at me like I was the enemy, too.

“I was supposed to be at work…”

“I wasn’t supposed to be there…”

“Where were you?”

She blamed me. She didn’t say it in so many words, but I knew she did.

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