Page 323 of Redeeming 6

I stiffened.

“I’m not blind, love,” she said in a gentle tone, inclining her head to where I had my sleeves rolled up to my elbows. “I don’t come from a sheltered home, either, which means that I know track marks when I see them.”

Ashamed, I pushed my sleeves down and stared at the counter.

“How long has it been since you last shot up?”

I remained silent, knowing there was no right answer to this question.

“A day? Two at the most?” Her voice was gentle and full of understanding when she asked, “Does your skin itch so bad you want to tear yourself open? Has the cold gotten into your bones so deep you feel like you’ll never be warm again? What about the cold sweats and the nausea? Have you reached the stage where you would rather die than go without?”

“I have it under control.”

“Do you?” She sighed heavily. “Or does it have control of you?”

“You don’t know me.”

“What did it start with, love? Cannabis? Prescription medication? Benzos? Uppers? Hmm? How long did those keep you sated until you moved on to something stronger like coke or fentanyl? When did you take the plunge?”

“What fucking difference does it make to you?” I spat out, feeling my hackles rise as I tried to defend the inexcusable. “I’m not hurting anyone.”

“Joey love, you deserve a good life, too,” she pushed. “Everything I want for your Shannon and your brothers, I want for you as well.”

“I’m eighteen.”

“Love, it wouldn’t matter to me if you were eighty,” she said. “We would still want that for you.”

“Well, I don’t want that for me,” I argued. “I don’t want to be mothered, and I don’t need a father figure. I’m too old for that shit.”

“You’re never too old to be loved, Joey.”

“My childhood ended a long time ago.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that.”

“It’s too late for me.”

“It’s never too late, Joey.”

“Aoife’s pregnant,” I decided to throw out there, deciding I had nothing to lose. “I’m about three and half months away from becoming a father myself, so I appreciate the offer, but the only family I’m interested in being a part of is the one I’ve made with her.”

“Pregnant?” Edel’s eyes widened. “You don’t do things by halves, do you, Joey love?”

I shrugged in response because, in all fairness, what the fuck else could I do?

“And where does this little habit of yours fit in with your girlfriend and baby?”

“It clearly doesn’t,” I bit out, hating that she hit the nail on the head. “I’ll fix it.”

“Look at you,” she said, with tears filling her eyes. “Look at how articulate you are. How smart. How brave.” She smiled sadly. “You know that this is too big for you, love.” She reached across the counter and covered my hand with hers. “Let me help you.”

“No.” Jaw clenched, I shook my head. “I don’t need your help.”

“Joey, love—”

“No,” I repeated, yanking my hand away. “Don’t talk about this, okay? It’s a hard fucking limit for me.”

“Because you know you’re in trouble, love.”

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