Page 135 of Redeeming 6

Turn it off.

Just stop feeling.

Had I listened to my head from the start, I wouldn’t be here.

My heart had fucked me over and opened me up to all of this unnecessary suffering.

With my brain in the driving seat and my mangled heart splattered all over her bedroom walls, I focused on putting my clothes back on. My movements were rigid, automatic even, as I finished dressing and walked over to her bedroom window, drowning in the sound of her pained cries.

“No, no, no, don’t go,” she begged, scrambling off the bed and closing the space between us. “I’m sorry, Joe. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it… I just… I need you to stay.”

“I meant what I said,” I replied, straining my neck away from her lips when she tried to hold and kiss me. “If you change your mind about going to the Gards, I’ll support you every step of the way.”

“Don’t go.”

“I’m sorry.” Gently peeling her hands away from my body, I placed them at her sides and moved for the window, needing to get as far as from this girl as I could before I did any further damage. “I love you.”

“Joey!”

“I’ll be seeing ya, Molloy.”

And then I climbed out of her window and slipped into the night.

______________________

A little while later, I found myself standing in front of a familiar house, with my hands in the front pocket of my hoodie, my heart in shreds, and my head bowed in resignation.

Expelling a frustrated breath, I reached up and rapped my knuckles against the graffiti-sprayed board that covered the broken pane of glass in the door.

When the door swung inward, the only judgment I felt came directly from my conscience as it roared scumbag in my head.

“Lynchy,” Shane acknowledged, cigarette balancing from his lips as he waited for me to explain my sudden reappearance.

“I need somewhere to crash for a few days,” I heard myself say, forcing myself to meet his gaze.

“Old man up to his tricks again?”

I knew he was searching my face for the usual bruises—the ones that had led me to take solace on his couch more times than I could count down through the years.

Remaining silent, I nodded stiffly.

“Why aren’t ya crashing with that doll of yours?”

“That’s done with.”

“No shit?” His brows shot up, and he reached for the cigarette balancing between his lips. “Done with how?”

I shrugged, resisting the urge to fucking scream. “Meaning she’s done with my bullshit. Can I crash here or not?”

Exhaling a cloud of smoke, Shane stepped aside and gestured for me to come in.

Just turn around and walk away.

Just fucking leave.

And go where?

Home?

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