Page 40 of Dirty Ginger

“Because you weren’t happy?” Maisie asked, like she already had figured out what took Amelia a long time to come to grips with.

“Because my heart was already wrapped up in someone else who I never got over.” There, she said it aloud. She waited for the world to come crashing down, but it never did.

A soft expression reached Clara’s face. “I think we all know you and Beckett are the real deal,” she said.

Amelia agreed with a nod, feeling like she was finally on the right track, and she was ready to let life take her when she needed to go. “I can’t even explain it all, nor do I have it all figured out, but when I went to college, it was just so different from life here. I liked that. You know, being someone different. Especially because back then, I lost Beckett. I didn’t even know him anymore. He went from this guy with a promising rodeo career ahead of him, who loved me madly, to someone else.” Her sisters knew her pain back then. The heartbreak she went through as she tried and tried and tried to make things work with Beckett, but he’d been so lost back then, so unreachable. He wouldn’t talk about anything, share his feelings, let her in. Until she couldn’t live like that anymore, and decided college was her way out. “When I came back from school, I never let myself look too closely at him, knowing I couldn’t, knowing the risk, knowing that all I’d want was him.”

“But then you did look at him?” Maisie asked.

Amelia nodded. “It’s like he’s back to himself. Open, willing to talk about us and himself, and to share in my life and let me share in his.”

At whatever crossed Amelia’s expression, Clara cocked her head. “Isn’t that a good thing?” she asked, before sipping her drink.

“It’s incredibly good,” Amelia confirmed, running her fingers up and down the stem of her glass. “But today I shared that same type of thing with Luka. We were just honest. We talked about all the feelings we had for each other at the beginning of our relationship. We talked about how simple life was while we were in school. We were the same, wanted the same things, did the same things, even. But when I moved back home, I became the old me, the country girl, the one who doesn’t want a big city life. And that’s when we drifted apart, but he was too proud to end the relationship. I think I was too afraid to fail at another one, especially right in front of Beckett’s eyes.”

Maisie finished her sip. “So, your talk was all about healing, then?”

“It was,” Amelia agreed with a soft nod, squinting against the sun peeking through the trees leaves. “I think we needed to give each other permission to admit that we were no longer in love, and that was okay.”

Clara blew out a long breath, crossing her legs. “Luka is lucky to have your kindness, and I’m happy you made peace with all this. Does this mean he’s gone from your life?”

“Yup,” Amelia said. “We hugged, wished each other well, and I doubt I’ll ever see him again.” Which felt weird—she’d been with him for three years. But then it didn’t feel weird either. The final goodbye felt right. Good.

Maisie swatted at a fly and asked, “Does this mean you and Beckett are moving full steam ahead?” Maisie asked.

She nearly said yes but stopped herself short. “That’s where things get a little complicated,” she admitted. “If I learned one thing from talking to Luka today, it’s that I finally feel like I know who I am. I know what I want. And I want Beckett. We were great in high school, but now we’re adults and we still work together. Even better than before. Yes, there is a lot of messiness and hurt in our past. A lot of history. A lot of pain. A lot of healing. But I want to be with him and work through that with him.” She hesitated and drew in a long deep breath before continuing. “I know Beckett and I have gotten back together quickly, and I know I should feel embarrassed and weird about that, but I don’t. It feels good. Right.”

Clara took Amelia’s hand, squeezing tight, giving a soft smile. “I’m proud of you. You’ve handled all this with such grace.”

Maisie agreed a nod. “Hell yeah, you have.”

“We’re here for you, all the way through this,” Clara said. “All we want is for you to be happy.”

“Thank you,” Amelia said, and then laughed. “All I want is to be happy too.”

“Amelia.”

The cold dread in Hayes’ voice had Amelia shooting straight up from her seat, her heart leaping in her throat. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Beckett,” Hayes said slowly, his dark eyes troubled. “His father died.”

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