Page 43 of Dirty Ginger

13

One week had ticked by slowly, and Amelia had felt each second of those days, knowing that Beckett was facing his father’s death alone. She’d texted and called him daily, but he never answered her calls and only texted a few words back to let her know that he was doing all right, but busy with all the paperwork and details for his father’s estate and funeral. Nothing more. Nothing less. Her head and heart were an equal mess. She and Luka were in a good place, but what she felt with Beckett now was all too familiar. He’d shut her out after his mother and grandfather passed away, and they were right back to that again. Part of her understood. He kept his father separate so it didn’t affect his life, of course she got that. But there was a deep part of her heart that knew not being involved wasn’t going to get them anywhere. Especially since it felt like Beckett wasn’t facing his trauma, he was once again avoiding it. Her heart balked, knowing what happened the last time he did that. He turned away from her, and she couldn’t even fathom that happening again. Only she had no idea how to reach him.

Over the last week, her brewery had never been cleaner. All she’d done was clean between creating the final three beer samples. She did her best to keep her mind and heart busy. But it didn’t help. Nothing helped. And after eating breakfast this morning, and feeling very much alone, lost in her thoughts and ready to crawl out of her skin, she called in reinforcements.

“Margaritas?” Amelia asked, glancing over her shoulder to her sisters who were talking about Mason’s latest art project at school while sitting around the kitchen table.

“Sure, I’ll make them,” Maisie said, jumping up from her seat.

“I’m right here,” Amelia said, waving Maisie off. “Sit down. I’ll make them.”

Maisie’s lips parted, but Clara interjected, “Actually, it’s probably best if I don’t have one.” She hesitated before the brightest smile rose to her face. “I found out yesterday that I’m pregnant.”

“Oh my God,” Maisie exclaimed, her hands covering her mouth.

Bursting with happiness, Amelia rushed to Clara’s side and threw her arms around her older sister. “Congratulations, Clara. This is so exciting. I had no idea you were trying.”

Clara returned the hug, squeezing tight. Her voice filled with wonder. “We weren’t actively trying, but I’ve been off the pill for a while now. I honestly had no idea. I spotted a little with my period this month so didn’t think anything was up, but the other day, I don’t know, I just had a feeling and got a test.” When Amelia leaned away, she found tears in Clara’s eyes. “Both Sullivan and I are really happy.”

“Does Mason know he’s going to become a brother?” Amelia asked.

Clara gave a quick nod. “Since I knew I was coming here and planned on telling you both, I told him before he went to school. I knew once he got there, word would spread quickly.”

Amelia laughed. “I’m sure it will. He’ll be such a proud big brother.”

Clara agreed with another nod, glancing at Maisie, who still gaped at Clara. “I’m starting to think you’re not happy about this news. Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Tears filled Maisie’s eyes, her chin quivering. “I am happy. It’s just… well, I guess now is the right time to tell you that I’m pregnant too.”

Clara gasped. “For real?”

Maisie nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Only just pregnant. I took the test last week before we last had drinks together. The line on the test was faint, but yesterday, the doctor confirmed we’re expecting.”

Clara’s elated expression shifted, her brows drawing together. “But you were drinking that day last week.”

“No, I wasn’t,” Maisie said, with a sheepish smile. “That’s why I jumped up to make these drinks too. I didn’t put any alcohol in mine.”

“Smart,” Clara said, opening her arms wide. Maisie stepped into them, and they hugged tight. “Pregnant together,” Clara continued, awe in her voice. “How much fun will this be?”

“So fun,” Maisie agreed.

Amelia absorbed the news, the happiness on her sisters’ faces. A sudden wall of emotion hit Amelia, nearly knocking her over, tears welling in her eyes, her sisters blurry in front of her. Her cheeks burned as the room began to spin. She grabbed the back of the chair, holding tight, and at the small squeak that escaped her, both of her sisters looked at her and immediately rushed to her side.

“Shit,” Maisie snapped, grabbing Amelia’s arms. “We shouldn’t have said anything.”

Eyebrows gathering, Clara’s mouth downturned. “Sorry, that was totally insensitive.”

“No, it’s not insensitive at all,” Amelia said, her breath catching. “It’s really great news, and I’m so happy for the both of you. These aren’t sad, pitiful oh-poor-me, tears.”

“What tears are they, then?” Maisie asked, pulling Amelia toward the chair.

Amelia took seat, swiping at the tears on her face. “It’s just that, I’m taking in all this good news and thinking how incredible it is that with all the loss we’ve had in our lives, that now, all this good is happening. How happy our parents would be to see you two so happy. How happy Pops and Grandma would be.”

“You’re right, they would be happy,” Clara said, dragging the other chair across the hardwood floor to sit next to Amelia. “It feels like there is a but in there.”

Amelia’s chest squeezed tight as she looked between her sisters, and realized a hard truth. One she’d been running from for a long time. All she wanted was to have that kind of happiness with Beckett. To be his wife. To have his children. And to find that everlasting happiness that wasn’t surrounded by so much death and misery. Her heart only and always wanted him. But all of those dreams were slipping away from her fast, and she felt like she was scrambling to hold onto them. “I just can’t help but wonder when is Beckett’s time to be as happy?” Her throat tightened with the emotion squeezing her. “When does Beckett get these happy moments like Hayes and Sullivan have found? When does he get to be showered with all the goodness life has to offer? When does he get to stop surviving, but truly living? It just makes me so damn sad for him.”

Clara’s eyes saddened. “He’s definitely had a hard time.”

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