Page 49 of Late Nights

“Probably because he knows Cannon better than anyone and knows he doesn’t do committed relationships. Not really the type of guy you want going after your sister.”

“You don’t think Cannon wants to commit?” Kate asked.

I wasn’t sure if he wanted to or not, but I knew there was a big part of him that believed he didn’t know how. And if I was being honest, I wasn’t sure if he knew how either.

“I don’t know.” I played with the end of one of my braids. “We didn’t talk about getting into a relationship. He only said he has feelings for me but doesn’t want to act on them. I’m not going to pretend he’s saying anything more than that. There’s no reason to jump to relationship status when he doesn’t want to have anything change between us.”

My words were a good reminder to myself also. Cannon might like me, but that didn’t mean he was going to all of a sudden change who he was as a person. He had strong beliefs when it came to going past the friend zone, and I would have been naive to think anything would change because of his declaration.

“And how do you feel about him?” Halle asked gently.

I let out a sigh. “Like I’ve had a crush on him for ten years and he’s finally taking notice of me. I’d love to see where things could go, but I’m also scared. I love being with him. I love flirting with him. But there’s enough I don’t know about him that makes me worried to open the door and see where it takes us. I don’t want to ruin the dynamic we have—that he has with my brother and my parents.” I paused, dropping the end of my braid before adding softly, “And I don’t want to get hurt.”

With how I already felt about Cannon, I knew if our relationship got any deeper, there was a real chance he could break my heart.

Halle gave me a soft smile, taking my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’re right. It’s more complicated than I thought. I just look at you two and have a hard time understanding why you aren’t together.”

Kate’s sympathetic gaze settled on me. “I think you’re smart to let things play out. If he’s not wanting to pursue anything, there’s not much you can do.”

Halle nodded in agreement. “We’re here if you ever need to talk.”

I was grateful for Halle and Kate’s support. I hadn’t really ever had true girlfriends. I’d always struggled to connect with other women in the social circles of my wealthy family. The relationships had always been surface-level. Fun enough to spend a few hours with at a charity event or a country club event, but nothing like a deep friendship.

Maybe that was another reason I wanted to be friends with Cannon so much. There was a part of me that longed for a meaningful relationship, whether it was as friends or something more.

Even my relationship with Aiden hadn’t been anything truly meaningful. We’d fit together great on paper, the ultimate power couple in our high society. But he didn’t know the first thing about who I really was or what my dreams were. I’d never told him that I didn’t want to be a venture capitalist and dreaded the idea of working at Vanderhall Capital. He had known I liked doing hair but not that I wanted to do it enough to upend my life and chase after a dream I’d never spoken out loud about.

My whole life felt surface-level. Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations had been suffocating and lonely at times.

There was a freedom I’d felt since leaving Stanford behind and living on my own. A freedom that came from hanging out on the couch with Cannon eating snack foods and playing video games. Relief knowing I didn’t have to be a certain way or act proper to gain anyone’s approval.

Not only had starting hair school been a step out on my own, on my own terms, but each time I was with Cannon, I took more steps toward being comfortable in my own skin, with someone who accepted me for who I was and not who they wanted me to be. But I wouldn’t push him into something he didn’t want—or something he wasn’t ready for. Whether he and I stayed friends or became more than friends, he felt too important for me to lose now.

15

Cannon

We sat in silence as we rode the lift up to the top of the mountain. I didn’t dare speak first in case I said something that might incriminate me, like I almost kissed your sister yesterday, or I told your sister I have not-so-brotherly feelings for her, or I got to enjoy a particularly lovely view this morning while skiing and it had nothing to do with the beautiful landscape and everything to do with your sister, or I can’t stop flirting with your sister no matter how hard I try.

Yeah, I had a lot of things I didn’t want to accidentally share with West.

“Just because you are comfortable keeping your mouth shut doesn’t mean we aren’t going to have this conversation,” West said as he looked straight ahead.

“What conversation?” I asked, making an effort to sound bored.

“You know exactly what conversation.”

I continued to look straight ahead as well, hoping I could get out of talking about Demi. “I have no idea what you could be referring to.”

I couldn’t see his eye roll behind his goggles, but I knew him well enough to know he’d done it.

“What’s going on with you and Demi?” he asked, cutting through my feigned ignorance.

So much for not talking about her.

“Nothing,” I said simply, still holding out hope he wouldn’t ask any more questions.

He finally turned to look at me. “Definitely something if you’re not wanting to talk about it.”

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