Page 50 of Late Nights

“I never want to talk about any relationship stuff,” I pointed out.

“So you and my sister have a relationship?” The worry in his voice seemed to echo between the mountains, the silence of being alone on the lift amplifying his concern.

“Not that kind of relationship.” I let out a huff of air. “She and I have become better friends since she moved in, but we are just friends.” I was going to plead innocent until proven guilty. “Plus, didn’t she tell you she thinks of me like a brother?” I added that last bit to help sell my lie, even though I was 99.9% sure Demi did not think of me like a brother.

“Friends,” he repeated as if he didn’t understand the meaning of the word.

“Yes, friends.”

He seemed to be mulling it over for a few seconds and then said, “I guess it’s good that you’re opening yourself up enough to have another close friend.” He paused and then added, “But when a guy and a girl are friends, it can always lead to becoming more than friends.”

“That’s not going to happen.” I shook my head. “Demi doesn’t need to get messed up with a guy like me. She deserves way better than that.”

“Cannon.” He sounded surprised. “I’m not worried about you being with my sister because I think you aren’t good enough for her.” He seemed to be taken aback. “I’m worried because in the ten years I’ve known you, you’ve never had a relationship, never gone past a few dates with the same girl.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I could see my sister falling hard for you, and I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

I didn’t want to hurt her either. I was trying my best to keep things platonic. The problem was that my best wasn’t very good. Really, my best was quite pathetic. Instead of staying away from her, I’d found excuses to be with her. Instead of keeping my hands to myself, I’d tickled her just to feel her skin against mine. Instead of denying any type of romantic feelings for her, I’d blurted out only hours ago how I couldn’t stop thinking about kissing her.

And I tried not to let his words about Demi falling hard for me worm their way into my mind. The last thing I needed was for them to take root and plant a full-on garden of what my life could be like with Demi. But I wasn’t a gardener, and what West said about my total lack of relationship experience was proof I wouldn’t be able to keep anything alive that I planted.

West’s voice broke through the weird garden analogy, thank goodness. “I just wanted to know if you have real feelings for her, or if this is one of the flirting things you do with women.”

His words snapped me back to reality. I was just the guy who flirted with women, the guy who never took anything seriously, the guy who didn’t do friends, the guy who never thought about the future.

The guy who, in the end, would always be alone.

Frustration swept through me. I’d been an idiot the past few weeks, thinking my life could be different, that I could be different.

“I told you nothing is going on between your sister and me,” I practically shouted. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down, more angry at myself than at West. “Now can we go and have fun skiing? I never get to see you anymore.” It was part truth, part distraction, but I needed this conversation to be over.

His face softened, and I could tell he felt bad for ditching me so much ever since he had gotten together with Halle. “Yeah, of course.”

The lift reached the top, and we hopped off, heading to the trail. It took nearly the whole first run to get things back to normal between West and me, but the second time around, we were back to our old selves—talking, laughing, joking around.

It reminded me that I was smart to keep Demi at a distance. I didn’t want to ruin my friendship with West or the little bit of family I had with the Vanderhalls. They were all I had, and I couldn’t lose them.

As we made our way to the lodge to meet up with the rest of the group, I recommitted myself to staying strong, to not letting Demi take a sledgehammer to my walls. Friends were all we could ever be.

It was for the best.

For both of us.

I had completely resigned myself to keeping Demi in the friend zone, but when she walked outside toward the hot tub in a royal blue bikini, my resolve slipped. And by slipped, I mean disintegrated.

This wasn’t my first time seeing Demi in a bikini. It also wasn’t my first time letting my eyes dance along her exposed skin, thinking she was the sexiest woman I’d ever seen. But it was the first time since we’d begun to get closer, since I’d learned what it felt like to have my fingers touch the skin on her sides, since I’d learned what it felt like to hover over her with our faces so close, since last night when we’d almost kissed, since today when I’d told her how I felt about her. It was the first time since I’d learned we both were attracted to each other and fighting our true feelings.

Her focus was on each step, making sure she didn’t slip, and like the good guy I was, I kept my eyes on her face.

Except I wasn’t as good of a guy as I wished because it was only a matter of seconds until my eyes were tracking the swell of her breasts and the curve of her hips. She was too tempting, and we were the only two out here, so sue me.

She sank into the hot water, closing her eyes and letting out a moan.

I averted my gaze, grateful she had sat in the corner opposite of me. I wasn’t feeling particularly strong in my resolve at the moment, and the extra space between us right now was definitely needed.

“Where is everyone?” she asked.

After we’d gotten back from skiing, we’d all thought it would be a good idea to relax our muscles in the hot tub, but so far it was only me and Demi who had made it out here.

“If I had to guess, West got distracted by Halle in a swimsuit.”

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