Page 139 of The Warlock's Trial

Once she finished, Grant went next. Lucas brought me a mug of apple cider from the kitchen, and we snuggled up on one of the couches. I could feel the warmth of the fire from here, and it was really cozy. We nibbled on gingerbread cookies, and Talia led us in Yuletide carols as each person took a turn at the altar.

As the others went, I tried to think of all the things I needed to let go of, and a horrible thought came to mind. I’d already lost so much this year when Grammy died, and I didn’t want to lose anyone else. I could hear a voice in my head saying I had to let go of her. I wanted to kick that voice in the mouth, because it certainly wasn’t my own.

I knew Grammy had moved on to Alora, but she couldn’t truly enjoy where she was at if I was holding her back. Grammy was worrying about me; I was certain. I knew I needed to accept that she was gone, but I was never going to let her go. I couldn’t.

I didn’t consider letting go of the twins, because I wasn’t going to let that happen. I wouldn’t even entertain the idea unless absolutely necessary.

Hours passed as we sang carols and waited for the Yule logs in the fire to burn down so others could add their own. I’d had plenty of time to think about what I would let go of in this ceremony, but nothing felt right. All I could think about was Grammy. It was a joyous day, laced in melancholy that she wasn’t here.

I knew my sadness wasn’t serving me, nor anyone else. I could focus on the good and all the great Christmases we’d had in the past. Grammy had always come to visit, and she’d bring along her famous brisket and always gift handmade presents. She’d once given me the sweetest pine-scented candle she’d made herself, and I’d never burned it because I didn’t want the scent to go away.

Then I thought about how I’d lost the candle in the move. It seemed I’d lost so much of her now. Focusing on the good didn’t seem to help when it reminded me of what I’d lost.

Consciously, I understood that letting go of Grammy didn’t mean forgetting her, but my heart wasn’t convinced. I worried that if I let go of all this pain, I’d lose my connection to her. It’d be like I never cared at all. I couldn’t do that.

I was the last to kneel beside the altar. Nine tealight candles burned, leaving only one that hadn’t been lit. I hesitantly withdrew a pinecone from the box beside me. I caught sight of a cinnamon stick at the bottom, and I placed that on the altar as well. The others let me be while I silently reflected on my own. It was like they weren’t even here.

My mind raced, because I knew what I had to do, but couldn’t. My friends had made this look so easy. They’d each spent mere moments at the altar to whisper a prayer, but I’d completely frozen up.

I had to choose something else, because I certainly wasn’t ready to let go of my grandmother. I tried to think about what she would say to me. I recalled a conversation we had months ago, where she encouraged me to let go of control. She said I feared letting go, because I wasn’t sure I could handle the outcome. I wondered where in my life I was still holding on to control.

My hand instinctively went to my belly. I thought about how I hadn’t been in control of this conception. Lucas and I hadn’t planned it, but it was one of the best things that had ever happened. I hadn’t even given birth yet, and I already knew I loved these babies so much. I couldn’t tell what the future held, but I knew by this time next year, everything would be different.

Mother Miriam, I prayed silently. I thank you for the children you have blessed me with, for I know this is my destiny. I let go of control over this pregnancy, and over the birth of my children. Whatever future may come, I trust that you will protect us. So shall it be.

I struck a match and lit the final candle. I felt a little lighter as I went over to the fireplace to pick up a log. I conjured my wand and cast a spell to carve my intention into the log. The word Family scrawled across the bark, and I smiled as I placed the Yule log into the fire.

I felt much better when I stepped away from the fire, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Verla, Onyx, and Mandy had joined us in the living room while the food finished cooking. It was at least an hour until dinnertime, and Grant suggested we do the gift exchange now.

He handed out our presents, until we were each holding one with our names on them. “To determine the order we open gifts in, we’ll be playing Spin the Candy Cane,” Grant announced, holding up a red and white striped candy cane. “Chloe, if you will.”

Chloe waved her hand, and her telekinesis levitated the candy cane into the air. Grant gave it a tap, and it began spinning. It slowed, until it came to a stop, pointing at Talia.

She tore open the paper and opened the box to reveal the bag of tea Mandy and I had made earlier today. Talia opened it and inhaled the scent. “It smells wonderful. Who made this?”

I raised my hand. “I infused it with Alchemy magic. It’s a tea blend that will make you see colors when you hear music.”

“I love it!” Talia exclaimed.

Grant spun the candy cane again, and it landed on Lucas. He opened his gift to find an assortment of chocolates Grant had made himself. They looked really fancy, with colored chocolate drizzled over the top of each one. Lucas popped one in his mouth, and the end of his nose started to glow red.

“You look like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!” I laughed.

Lucas crossed his eyes and wiggled the end of his nose to try to get a good look at it. “This better go away by Christmas Eve, or some guy in a red suit is going to be knocking on our door asking me to guide his sleigh.”

“And you’d do it in a heartbeat,” I teased. I grabbed his face in my hands and kissed the end of his nose. “You look adorable.”

“For a reindeer,” he joked with a laugh.

Onyx and Chloe had gotten each other. Onyx had gifted Chloe a collection of bath bombs she’d made herself, while Chloe gave Onyx a pair of origami doves she’d enchanted with Mentalist powers. The doves fluttered around the room and landed in Onyx’s hair.

She snickered as they tickled the top of her head. “I love them!”

The candy cane continued to spin, and wrapping paper littered the floor. Everyone had been really creative with their gifts, and it was tons of fun seeing what everyone had made. Grant had received a hair gel potion Verla had brewed herself.

“It’s temporary, so it holds during the day and disappears at night so you don’t have to wash it out,” Verla explained.

Talia had crafted a wreath made from clothespins for Miles, and she’d put a condom in each of the clothespins. He let out a deep belly laugh when he saw it.

---